An Idle Mind

Better?

2012-02-01T19:09:00.003-04:00

I usually refer to myself as a Lagos girl (although i can not speak Yoruba to save my life) because my parents moved to Lagos when i was barely 3yrs old and i spent all my childhood in Las Gidi.

As far as i was concerned, Lagos was the shit and there was nothing outside Lagos. This changed by the time i had to start uni. Said Uni was in a little village in Edo state. There i met people from all over the country. I still remember how i pointed and laughed till i had a stitch in my side the first time a boy told me he lived in Aba. I had been to Aba for an excursion in secondary school, all i could remember about it was the national War Museum and that huge Ariara market. So as far as my narrow little mind was concerned, if you lived in Aba, you lived in a market. Fin.

As if that wasn't hilarious enough i met people who lived in places like Sapele and Eket, places that to me only existed in my McMilliam reader where some Edet or Okon had to help his uncle on his farm. But here i was meeting people who claimed to actually live in these places, meaning they really existed. WOW!

Yes blame my myopic Lagos view.

Of course, naturally, i considered anybody that dwelt outside Lagos as razz *shrug* I didn't understand why people spoke english with very conc accents and why some spoke pidgin all the damn time.

Did you just call me a snob? I know.

Anyway all this changed of course because i had to adapt to life in uni, there was no way i could hang with the cool Lagos kids all the time, my room mates were all Onitsha babes + 1 Benin babe so by the end of my first yr i was rapping in pidgin and could even speak some Onitsha dialect.

The pidgin part was very neccessary because there was no other way to communicate with the "any work" (Oh God how i miss anywork. God bless all the anywork in the world, Amen) I remember one of my fellow Lagos ajebutters who never got a hang of pidgin, all her errands were run backwards because of the communication gap.

Anyway life in Edo state was rough, definitely not what i was used to in Lagos, but like i said i blended.

Fast foward to Mon, 29th Jan. I landed at the Benin airport by 10.00AM (after i'd been sitting at the Lagos airport since 6AM because the flight was scheduled to leave at 7:30AM)

The airport actually looks half decent, for a domestic airport in Nigeria, fine. I get into a taxi and hit the streets of Benin. Can you say UGLY? Say it. Just say it. Every where just looked messy.

I now understood/understand why people stay singing governor Fashola's praise, at least there are roads in Lagos. Yes there is mad traffic but you will sha be driving along a road, not a foot path. I kid you not it's just red earth footpaths everywhere, with some pretend road work going on at certain points on the road.

The buses used for public transportation looked sad and unsafe, all the road sides along the main highways looked like pop-up boutiques and mini markets, everywhere just looked rough. Oh and guess what song was playing on the radio?

Try.

Ego by D'jinee. Then i think a Styl Plus song after that.

Unfortunately for me upon arrival at my friends place there was no electricity. And it remained that way for a greater part of the day. The next day, after getting dressed with the help of a torchlight, we get to the road and have to hail bikes to get to our destination.

I fly bike sha. I can't remember the last time i did that. It wasn't fun to me.

The highlight of my day however was when i went out with one very correct person who carried me to one ~~beer parlour~~ joint somewhere in G.R.A I started by ordering bush meat peppersoup as a starter abi na appetizer, i couldn't believe how ridiculously cheap it was, so i decided to order pounded yam and egusi as my main course. My people if you see the hot pounded yam and better egusi soup ehn? You will be very jealous. Of course i had to share part of my meal with flies sha. At some point i asked the guy serving to do something about the flies na im the guy bring kerosene come clean the table o. Please helep me and see. Kereosene where food is being served? Is it just me that thinks this in not normal? The guy noticed the look on my face and said "Aunty kereosene no dey kill o, pesin dey even drink am sometimes" #NoComment

Let's just say i had to make sure my no part of my body or my food came in contact with the table during my meal. After everything our bill came to One Thousand Five Hundred Naira. #1,500. Shikena. I had to behave myself and not order for more because no be me dey pay.

I really wasn't feeling Benin at all, so exactly 48hrs after i arrived, i was on a bus back to Lagos (Yes bus, i am broke. Arik flight to Benin na 22k)

In summation, what this trip reminded me of is that general saying you hear sometimes "Nigeria is so much better now". When the people talking have not left Lagos. Or Abuja. People don't look as fancy or relaxed in Benin (and i'm sure most of the other parts of the country) Most people look like a picture of struggle. They don't have red carpets rolling out hither tither. There aren't that many people sitting in traffic with their windows rolled up. There are no red cabs, instead their cabs have 4 passengers sitting behind with 2 in front beside the driver. Bikes are the preferred mode of transportation especially depending on your destination because there are places that are not motorable.

Even at that bikes are not allowed to run after 7PM in certain areas due to the high spate of robberies. Highway robberies along that Benin-ore road are still a fairly regular occurence and the road still has several bad spots some of which are currently undergoing construction and adding to the traffic.

Forgive my pessimism but i really don't see what has gotten better. I just see struggle and apathy and insecurity of lives and property. Another thing i do see is the resilient Nigerian spirit. The fact that people live through these harsh conditions and can smile through it all. And that in itself is remarkable.

Just gisting

2012-01-13T16:18:00.002-04:00

I really do forget that i have a blog sometimes.

Then i remember at other times and i even plan posts in my head.......and that's all about that.

So let's try this shall we.

I've been in Nigeria for a month. However it feels longer. Way longer.

The fact that i've been cooped up indoors for the week has not helped one little bit.

The good thing is that December in Gidi was live, so sometimes when i'm bored memories of certain events help tide me over. I mean i was out almost everyday/night from the day after my arrival. I got to meet so many cool new people, put faces to twitter handles and blog personas, partake in heavy gossip sessions, cause commotion, get shit faced and generally have a roaring good time.

I'm just going to go ahead and tell y'all random things that have taken place as they come to mind.

So i happen to have unpermed hair, and i wear this unpermed hair out. A lot. This is not very popular in Lagos, where babes are literally swimming in weave day in day out. Let me first say that i have absolutely nothing against weaves. In fact i did get a weave recently, thing about that is that it barely lasted 5 days atop my head. I just couldn't bear not being able to reach my scalp.

Anyway so i definitely got my own fair share of odd looks, but trust and believe that i was up in the club dancing my ass off with my afro puff on my head. So one day i meet this guy and first thing he says when he sees my hair is "I wouldn't let you touch me with your hair like that".

I guess he just assumed that i was dying to touch him. He even went as far as offering to buy me a wig of my choice because he wanted to take me out......*blank fucking stare*

Now on one hand i may have felt like cursing him out, but i have come to realize that it is hard for one to understand what one isn't used to. The average Nigerian man most likely doesn't recognize unrelaxed hair, he is surrounded by women with 8-26" of Brazillian, Mongolian, Peruvian, Chinese and even Yaki. In fact at a certain event i attended a guy expressly stated that he has no buisness with a babe with shuku on her head, meaning that i myself i'm out here losing in Lagos abi? Lies. I'm definitely not trying to compete with Gidi babes but i'm definitely stunting and getting my fair share of male attention.

So yea i didn't blame him too much.

I happen to have a number of male friends, platonic and non-platonic alike. In the time that i've been here i've noticed that the level of desperation women display is just too damn high. I mean i see perfectly alright babes, literally begging men to be with them. Like for why? Were you not in line when God was sharing the "SHAME" gene? How about the one for "PRIDE"?

Another thing about Lagos is the glitz and glam. I'm not even joking there's cameras everywhere. Those of us in the abroad only manage to see the pictures that show up on bella, but here there's weekly soft sell magazines that carry pictures of any and every event. To the extent that there are random camera men posted up outside certain churches so you can just go to church one nice sunday morning and see yourself in city people 2 days later. Oh and there's no event too small or insignificant to turn into a full on owambe. I mean when you can turn a boutique launch into a full fledged concert then nothing is impossible.

Also keeping up with the Jonses is a full time occupation for a lot of people here.

I know sometimes we watch nollywood movies and think they are grossly exagerrated but sometimes they are not even enough to depict the heights and lows that people go through to keep up appearances. The stories that i have heard.......

I don't know where that theory about 6 degrees of seperation is from, but in my opinion you're lucky if you have 3 degrees of seperation from the next person here. This city is too damn small. So small it's scary. The way gist travels i wonder how some people can still wake up and show face anywhere.

The internet is a very wonderful place. One can just sit back behind their computer or hand held device and create whatever persona they like, turn into a celeb on the e-streets, when in real life the only way they can drink in the club is by famzing at different tables. Omase o.

Clubbing in Lagos is just hectic sometimes. Last time i tried was on the last Friday of the year. I mean every club i drove past was packed. It felt like everyone had left their house that night and they were all determined to groove. By force. The number of people milling around at the entrance of some clubs was just ridiculous. The one i managed to enter, even after getting into V.I.P i still had people stepping on my toes because it was that packed. And can i just say how ironic it is that V.I.P almost always ends up being more of a market than regular. Because really all you need as a babe is to know the manager of the club and just like that you shall be marched into V.I.P

On this particular night after someone at the next table spilled champagne on me and one of my friends almost got into a fight with one idiot and a proper fight broke out in front of one club nobody told me to enter my car and drive home.

One of my better club nights was on a Monday night though. Yea, who goes clubbing on a Monday night. Now if i were in NY i'd tell you african hair braiders, but in Lagos? Big boys that's who. Another good night(s)? Thursdays @ Swe with the live band. LIVE! I mean minus all the smoking of course but that band would make you komole like no man's buisness. I'd be dancing and sweating and fanning myself but unable to stop dancing and singing along.

I'm still looking for the single men in Lagos. Single as in there's no girl somewhere who believes she is dating him. I haven't met them yet. I'll stay away from the subject of the single-married men for now.

I want to say Nigeria is growing, but the truth is that most of this growth is restricted to a few cities, Lagos being the main one. I'm impressed by the entrepreneurship displayed by a lot of young people here. I know how hard it is with the ageist behaviour of the average Nigerian but many young people are branching out and doing their own thing and doing it well.

There is too much money in this country. I've entered some houses that remainder small for me to clap my hands together like a village housegirl.

There is also a lot of poverty. And suffering. And instability. And insecurity.

Before i allow this post to turn melancholic lemme stop here.

Me sef i don try.

Have a great weekend.

Old years night

2011-12-31T18:23:00.002-04:00

For some reason i'm rather reflective and emotional right now.

Thinking about the past year. The fact that this is my first New year's eve at home with my family in 4 years may or may not have something to do with this.

It has been one heck of a year. Full of life moulding events and learning curves for me.

A lot happened this year. Good things, bad things, neither good nor bad things.

But i'm here still. And so are you.

I've come to appreciate the little things a lot more. And try to complain a little less.

I don't have a long wishlist for the new year.

I'm just grateful to be entering the new year with all my loved ones accounted for.

Ok, i really hope & pray that i'll stop introducing myself as "An unemployed doctor" sometime soon.

I don't have any resolutions for the new year. I intend to continue working on becoming a better person in general, remaining focused on the things that really do matter.

I'm also thankful for everyone who takes time to read my ramblings on here. And especially thankful for those who take it a step further by leaving comments. Thank you. I pray 2012 will be an awesome year for all of us.

Happy New Year.

Gidi

2011-12-24T05:20:00.003-04:00

Traffic. check

Heat. check

Mosquitoes check

No electricity check check

Slow internet check check check check

Terribly poor mobile service (as in so poor your bb messages get delivered 2 hrs after you send them) check check quintiple check.

Yep people i am in Nigeria.

So i arrived one day like that sha and let me just tell you that i was in the hot arrival lounge for 2 whole hours before i sighted my first (of 5) piece of luggage. That airport is an apology i swear. makes me so shy anytime i have to pass through it.

#Eniweighsdoe can i just say i am having a blast.

As in parry over hurr, parry over durr type of blast. I have not have this much fun in a while. I still don't agree that there ain't no party like a Lagos party because i know my west indian folk party harder, but lagos people try. I mean take last night for instance i don't think anybody in Lagos stayed home because as i was headed home by 4am cars were still double parked all along Adetokunbo Ademola.

I know i said it before but Lagos babes don't play. As in everywhere you look, beautiful people. As in hot hot looking wimmin all over the place. Again i say to y'all in LDRs with men living in naij, the good Lord is your strength. I don't jealous you none. I mean some of these babes could certainly do without the 26" of weave and super long lash extensions plus blue colored contacts because some of them stay doing too damn much but it's all entertainment for me still.

Again i know i sound like a broken gramophone on this one but i just can't with all the smoking. Most clubs/bars do not have restricted areas for smoking and everybody smokes. I mean EVERY DAMN BODY so imagine somebody that has been out almost everyday for the past week now i have all my clothes reeking of cigarettes and i'm afraid to smell my hair because it's only one week old and i'm not about to change it. How everybody in this town hasn't been diagnosed with lung cancer is just a miracle.

Have you ever been to the club on a Monday night? Ridiculous innit?

Did i mention i'm loving this. Ok

I'm also trying not to over stretch my liver. I know the liver is a very resilient organ and has the ability to regenerate to a large extent but all the free alcohol that gets shoved at me just might be pushing my liver past it's limit. When you start the night with a glass of mateus then have a LIIT and start off on a bottle of belvedere then still collect a glass of rose that's offered to you don't be surprised if you wake up the next morning in a bed that's not your own wearing a man's shirt with no recollection of how you got there.

I also have to thank God for good friends both new and old, i have a new found appreciation for one of my friends in particular even though said friendship is currently on the rocks. I have met new fun people and all is good really.

Please don't read this post and be all "Naija is so much fun, i mustu move back tomorrow" No.

All this fun i'm having is interspersed with incidents like the power going out while you're dancing in the club or walking through the mall or just applying your eyeliner while getting ready to head out. Or getting stuck in traffic while sitting in a vehicle without air conditioning. This actually made me want to repent on the spot because if hell is worse than that then.....don't want.

So yes, i'm having fun, but Nigeria is pretty much the same, a very flawed country where many things do not work. BUT for now i'm having fun and that's all that matters.

Merry Christmas people. I want to avoid the whole cliche "Jesus is the reason for the season" but yea He is. It's been quite a year. A lot has happened this year. In my own life at least. But it's almost over and I'm still here. If you're reading this, you're still here. Thanks enough to be thankful for.

So whether you celebrate Christmas or not, there's a lot to be thankful for.

Score

2011-12-21T12:56:00.004-04:00

I have several posts in my head, some i've actually typed half way, but.......

This post was supposed to start off cheeky, witty and what not, but considering that i still have snot running down my face and red puffy eyes, i am not able to pull that off.

Got my last score report today.

I passed.

So why am i crying?

According to my sister i'm a brainy fish, that passing is not just enough for me.

I'm crying because i expected more from myself.

I did put in the work. I prayed. I recruited you guys to pray.

You know, i tried.

I called my parents after i calmed down somewhat and of course they are jubilating and making merry. Their Ada is about to be an American certified doctor. I can just see my mother dancing and telling all her friends. I'm definitely going to be very spoilt this holiday.

See i'm trying to cheer myself up.

My family is always good for this. Best ego boost a girl can ask for.

However the reality is that medicine is competitive, and there are people out there with higher scores, applying for the same positions i'm applying for. *sigh*

I'm grateful, i am, but i'm also realistic.

Thank you for praying for and with me.

As much as i don't feel so great right now, i'm still awesome.

I know there are people out there who have not been able to pass these exams in more than one sitting. And i did. All of them. one time only.

So you see i am awesome, just not as awesome as i wished to be.

And of course God is great. I didn't do this by myself.

I shall attempt to put up a post when i'm feeling better.

So Chukwunna daalu.

Rant

2011-12-10T04:51:00.004-04:00

WARNING! This is a rant of a very sexual nature. Very explicit in language and imagery.If you know you might be offended by such, please close this tab now. You're welcome.

You know how on eBay you get to leave feedback for transactions?Well i wish there was something like that for real life sexual encounters. It would really save some of us so much time.

Think about it, if you meet someone and you're maybe contemplating having sex with them, you first check their profile and if they happen to have no stars, you chuckle when they present their dicks and quietly go your own way because you're probably better off with your fingers/hand. On the flip side though people with great testimonials would be getting pussy/dick flung at them from different directions and this could be either good or bad, depending on what side you're looking at it from. Overall i still think this is a great idea because it might spur some people on to do better. I mean if you keep getting low feedback you may be inspired to up your game.

Fellas, fellas, listen let me tell you, once you're past your teenage years there is no excuse for coming after 2 seconds. NONE. Teach yourself, watch videos, ask questions, do something. Don't be a waste. yes, if you have a dick and after so many years of using it still don't know how to work it, please stock up on lotion and tissue and remain best friends with your hand.

Oh and be honest with yourselves, not all of you need magnums. Faking it till you make it can not work for this one. Baggy condoms are not cute.

Foreplay. Have you ever heard of that word? Do you know what it is about? Please learn.

Another thing, rushing is usually a bad idea, take your time. That foreplay thing i mentioned earlier is a great idea.

Reciprocity. Guys you know how great you feel when a lady friend has her lips around your dick? Well females have this thing called a clitoris, it has a very high concentration of nerve endings so it feels really, really good when stimulated orally. Try it. She would most likely like it. Giving is better than recieving.

Now if you happen to be one of those guys that climaxes 2 seconds after penetration, you probably want to delay the penetration bit as long as possible. That word again. Foreplay. Plus great oral skills might help to distract from your very poor piping game. However if you happen to go ahead and come in 2 seconds, then promptly roll over and start snoring, do not be surprised if your partner stops talking to you forever. (But feel free to still drop her off at the airport like you promised earlier)

Now Sistas, i have to hold some of us responsible for the wacktastic sexual experiences we sometimes suffer. I mean some of these men still get sex regularly when they clearly do not know what they are doing, because we let them. There is such a thing as constructive criticism, i'm not saying you should do like somebody i know and get really really angry and type a whole blogpost.

To the sistas out there who have a nice, hard dick that knows how to put in work at their beck and call all i'm going tell you is be grateful. Appreciate that dick because it's a cold cold world out here.

I have an excuse

2011-11-12T02:36:00.002-04:00

It's actually not an excuse but a real legit reason.

I have a big exam coming up.

A big exam that has me up doing questions till 2am in the morning.

I'm taking the second part of the Step 2 of my board exams.

If you're family you know i took Step 1 around this time last year.

While the result of that one wasn't particularly great, at least i passed and do not have to take that exam ever again.

However this time around to just pass will not be enough.

That's where you come in. You know i'm never ashamed to come here and beg for your prayers and such. I need all the prayers i can get. Just a line to the big man upstairs (oor whoever you believe in really) on my behalf will be highly appreciated.

I don't know if i'm doing my best. It's hard studying for this exam on your own, especially as i did most of these postings over a year ago. Plus sleep keeps getting in the way. But i have been consistent, chugging iced coffee, doing hundreds of questions and i am making progress. Hopefully all this would be enough.

This doesn't neccessarily mean i'm taking a break from blogging, because i'm addicted to putting down my thoughts anyhow, but i'll be doing more of that over on my private blog which is private because all i do on that blog is cry and chronicle my progress (or lack thereof)

So yea, that's my excuse.

Excuse me while i go reward myself with a red velvet cupcake.

Have a wonderful weekend people.

For Chi-chi

2011-10-31T02:37:00.004-04:00

Chi-chi was one of those relatives that i was never sure what to refer to her as.

Aunt? Cousin?

Her father is my mum's uncle, which makes her my mum's cousin, which made her my 2nd cousin i guess.

She wasn't much older than me, and used to come over to our house on holiday when schools were on vacation. I'm sure she always looked foward to the holidays just so she could come stay with us.

We used to visit her parents house too. Like i said, her dad is my mothers uncle. Eldest male in her family i think, the one my father would report her to when they had their issues. Very nice man.

They lived in Festac and we'd go visit them sometimes on Sundays after service. It was one of those family visits i didn't quite look foward to. See they lived in one of those face-me-i-face-you buildings that i'd only ever heard the likes of Daddy Showkey sing about. Theirs was a tiny living room and a bedroom shared by mother, father and 4 children. The sitting room had terrible lighting and always smelled musty so my sister and i would leave the parentals there and go sit in the room with our 2nd cousins. Whenever we went to visit them, i'd be careful to drink my "mineral" slowly so i would not need to pee. You see they had this toilet/latrine/whatever that they shared with several other tenants, plus you had to fetch water to flush it too.

My prissy little self was having none of that.

One day i overheard my mother saying that Chi-chi had been diagnosed with diabetes. At the time all i knew about diabetes was that it had to do with sugar and if you drank too much fanta (i really used to love fanta) you might get it when you're older. So i was surprised that somebody so young could have diabetes. But i was fascinated. The next time i saw her i kept asking about how she gave herself insulin shots and what kind of foods she was allowed to eat. I felt bad for her when she mentioned she had to start eating unripe plantain porridge. Yuck.

There was some unpleasantness between us and our relationship became strained. Visits to festac were fewer and far between. I can't remember the last time i saw Chi-chi. Must be over 5yrs ago at least. She comes to mind sometimes when i'm studying and i come across a diabetes related question.

On Saturday morning i woke up to a message from my sister. It simply read "Chi-chi is dead"

I'd be lying if i tell you i broke down and wept. I may have shed a couple of tears, but i still carried on with the rest of my day.

That doesn't mean that i am not saddened by her death. I can't tell you how saddened i am.

I have so many questions, but no one to answer them.

How did she die?

What exactly did she die of?

She's had this condition for at least 10yrs.

Was she seeing a doctor regularly?

Was she compliant with her medication?

I've seen people who have lived with diabetes for 30+yrs

She was barely 30yrs old.

Once again i'm reminded that health care in Nigeria is non-existent, and i continue to pray that God continues to keep all my loved ones in good health.

Once again i'm reminded of how fleeting life is. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Yet everyone else ploughs on.

Any and everything

2011-10-24T14:02:00.003-04:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post.

I've had all these posts in my head, but to actually make time to sit down and type them is the problem.

Let's random today shall we.

You know how people always tell you "It is well", "Have faith" and all those cliche sounding things?

Do you ever want to just scream? I know i do.

I mean i just received my 3rd rejection 5mins ago, i don't know about you but the whole having faith thing is hard when you have 3 rejections and not one interview invite yet but you know interview season has started. *sigh* Ah well.

I sense a conspiracy in the universe. There have been 2 pop-ups in my life in the past week.

For those of you wondering what i mean by "pop-up" that's when somebody from your past (usually an ex-boy/girlfriend) suddenly pops-up out of the blue.

Yea so this past week i received 2 fb messages (of course it had to be fb) from 2 different exes. Both messages were along the lines of "would like to see you again, blah blah, blah" Infact one even included his bb pin and asked me to add him so we can chat. of course he his message shall remain unreplied. This is what happens when you're a nice somebody like me ehn (yes i am nice. shut up in advance) If i had ended these relationships (if they can even be called that) properly i.e with a huge fight and cut off all ties shey they won't have mind to be contacting me?

I'm all about foward movement. I see no reason why history should become current affairs.

The day before my mother left for Nigeria she mentioned that there was something she wanted to discuss with me. This was of course after she'd almost talked my ear off already. So as we were getting ready to head to the airport she sat me down and said "I hear the latest in America is anal sex. Any man that asks you for such just say no and run"

Exact words out of my mother's mouth. No kidding. I was eating at the time and i didn't know whether to laugh or blush because the woman was quite serious. When i tell you my mother is special. Anyway if any man suggests anal sex to me i can look him square in the eye and say "My mummy said anal sex is a no-no"

I read somewhere that a Lagos state commissioner stated that a large number of lagosians have mental health problems. A few days later my sister (who lives and works in Lagos) sent me a message about how she gets angry easily now. See living in Lagos will drive you crazy.

I love the internet. Yes i have an internet addiction. I'm a recovering twitterholic but i don't think i can ever actually just leave twitter. The hilarity on there is endless. I mean so is the stupidity and tomfoolery, but it's all entertainment.

The best times have to be whenever red carpet pictures debut or live tweeting of award shows.

Also can i just say that people who actually pose for those red carpet pictures have plenty mind. If for whatever reason i find myself at any of those events i shall be sprinting away from any and every camera. Some comments i see are enough to make one contemplate suicide.

While on the topic just from these social media networks there are certain Nigerian males that you couldn't convince me that they are straight even if i found them in bed with a woman. A number of them have my gaydar on high alert.

My friends and family double as my fan-club and for this i am grateful.

I am an awesome friend. Ask about meh :)

It's one thing to finish school, it's another thing to find something to do with the degree you slaved to earn. The next year of my life is looking pretty ................ unplanned. God, Jesus, Holy spirit, over to you.

I did say this was going to be random, so yea. I'll stop now.

Here's wishing you a fantastic week ahead.

Love

2011-09-25T11:09:00.003-04:00

My parents have been planning a trip to the U.S for some months now, but their planning was so shady i'd stopped paying them any mind, and i wasn't too sure how the trip was going to work out. Anyway, they finally arrived, but were staying with my Uncle and his family in a different city.

Yesterday i flew down here to see them, and on my way i was already imagining all the different things we'd squabble about, starting with my tattered hair of course to the brightness of my nail colour.

But from the moment my mother ran out of the house in her PJs to hug me till just now as i'm listening to them exchange village gossip with my uncle and aunt, i've been smiling.

My mother always has all these funny baby stories of me that she always tells when we have company. There's the one of how she dropped me off at kindergarten at 18mnths and i walked to my class without looking back while she was in tears because she had to leave me. Or how at a little over a year old i sat on the balcony and called out to one of the neighbours "bro sai" as he walked past, at this time i'd just said my first word ("Daddy" of course) and no one knew i could say anything else but there i was calling out an innocent man walking along minding his buisness ( when i tell you i was born an amebo).

Anyway my parents always have this proud smile when they talk about me, sitting down there yesterday i felt like a star. Well, i am one. I am their star. A lot of times i feel like i haven't done much with myself but at lease i know that i have made my parents proud and i'll do all that i can to continue to make them proud.

My mother is Mrs dramatic herself, as evidenced by the little song and dance she did when i presented her with a bottle of her favourite perfume. She is still the most hilarious person on earth, closely followed by my father of course, but my mother's bad mouth is legendary, plus she has no time for political correctness and she can be totally lacking in tact when she wants. For example when she noticed my hair she started with a very loud "CHINEKE!" But clearly she was still too excited to see me so she hasn't said much else yet. My father one the other hand called it "Isi ndi Jamaica" (Jamaican people's hair) Oh by the way my dad refers to my natural hair as "tattered hair" Yes. this is a true story.

We went shopping all day yesterday. That shop till you drop thing is real. I thought i was going to faint at some point, but then daddy slipped me a couple of dollar bills so i perked right up. I know, i'm easy.

My daddy is a typical bush Igbo man, but that didn't stop him from requesting for his iPad and iPad phone that i've been showing him how to use. I've missed this man. The kind of memories i have of my dad include him checking my home work even when he came back late from work and going through my school bag with me to make sure i didn't lose anything at school. I've always been his Princess and always will be.

I love my mummy, i love my daddy. They are two not perfect human beings but they are responsible for this awesomely extra special young woman you know as Mizchif and i will forever be grateful to them.

All this mushiness. I need someone to fave this post and copy and paste it back to me by the time we start fighting in two days and i'm hitting my head on the wall in anger and frustration. lol.

All over the place

2011-09-07T22:11:00.007-04:00

Lately I’ve been staying away from the topic of sex and relationships (because single people don’t know anything about those of course, duh!) However I follow a number of sex and relationship blogs, best one for me so far being SingleBlackMale.org mainly because they try to cover a range of topics which spark interesting and enlightening discussion in the comment section.

Now when I read these posts I do realize that they are based on personal experiences/opinions and world views, so I don’t accept them as a blueprint, however there are posts I read on there that ~~make me want to do my hallelujah stomp~~ strike a chord . There have been a few of them lately but I just wanted to talk about this one. If you have the time, you should read it, but if you don’t, the most profound statement in that post for me was "...much to the collective chagrin of women who consistently love unavailable men, we snap out of it and run straight to a new chick. You want to know why don’t you? It’s because men use a formula to assign value to the women in their lives and a large part of that formula is derived from how much we believe that woman values herself."

I don’t think I can properly address my thoughts on that statement without rambling incoherently for the next 2000 words, but I’d really like to know what you think of it. This weekend I had a mini-reunion with a bunch of old secondary school mates, girls I hadn’t seen in almost 10yrs and while we were catching up one of them mentioned how her ex-boyfriend of 4yrs or so ended up married 6months after they broke up. I mean i know how much it takes for me to get over situationships that only lasted a yr, so if this happened to me i can't promise you that I wouldn't be typing this post from ~~prison~~ a psych ward.

Back to the post i reffered to above, i found this comment in the comment section "I always found it interesting when different women in my life felt they could "fix" me. There was nothing to fix, but despite saying that they kept trying anyway. No matter if he's a good guy or a deadbeat, if a man does not want to - or is not willing to - settle down there's no amount of talking, wooing, pleading, or sexing that you can do to change that."

There's this saying i heard a long time ago that is one of my relationship mantras i live by. I'll just paraphrase "Don't imagine you can change a man, unless he's in diapers"

I'm one of those people who believe that human beigns do not change much during their life span. People are who they are, both male and female. However i somehow feel like women are more maleable. Par example, i'm ~~chronically~~ currently single and i live alone, therefore i do not cook. I'm so lazy that I'd rather go hungry than take myself to the kitchen to prepare a proper meal. But trust and believe that when i had a boyfriend in uni i was that girl that would cook ogbono, make eba, arrange it inside warmer and carry it to her boyfriends hostel.

In my own experience, men on the other hand tend to carry on as usual whether they are single or in a relationship, therefore if i see a trait that i know i cant live with, i keep it moving (hence the chronic singility).

So this message is for any of my dear sisters out there in the world, dreaming of changing some nwoke that is not wearing nappy ........... #giveup #stopit #youwilldiefornothing

In other Mizchif news i took the weekend off. As in i chose to ignore the many issues going on in my life and just have fun. I attended a secondary school mini reunion. I saw girls i haven't seen in almost 10yrs. It was a jolly old time, catching up and such. It's kinda surreal though, the memories i have of these people involve wearing different colours of housewear and serving punishment or sitting in class for prep but now they're talking about husbands and children. Such adult stuff. Where did the time go?

Also another one of us who had gotten married not too long ago had a rather brief courtship, brief like she and her husband met and were married within 6months – 1yr. I remember discussing it with one our mutual friends around the time of the wedding and I expressed the opinion that I thought it was a little too hurried, because there is only so much you can learn about a person within the space of a year. However I got to actually meet the couple this weekend and watching them interact I could feel that they were happy together. I mean I didn’t feel like there was electricity in the air when they looked at each other but they just seemed so comfortable with it other and it was beautiful to watch.

So this got me thinking.

Who or what dictates how long is long enough to get to know someone?

How about people who date for 9yrs and then divorce after being married for 18months?

Can you ever fully know everything about anyone?

What really counts when making the descicion on who you want to spend the rest of your life with. So many questions.

I also attended a couple of parties and i'll just say that if you invite me to party with West Indians or Nigerians and i had to choose, i'd choose the West Indians twice over. Nigerian parties are only good for people watching/showing off. Also am i the only one that isn't into meeting guys at the club? I mean i have nothing against it, but i really didn't leave my house to come to the club and be shouting over the music to be heard, so if you're not going to shut up and ~~buy me a drank~~ dance, kindly get to stepping. Thanks.

I did get to meet some really cool folks as this weekend, and dare I say that my social skills have greatly improved, like i'm almost friendly even.

Unfortunately i am not an ostrich, so i can't bury my head in the sand. I have now returned to my real life and it's little issues, for which i am actually grateful. Everytime you think you have it bad, there's someone out there who has it a million times worse.

Don't you just love how this post is all over the place? That should give you an idea where my mind is at right now.Please feel free to leave a comment. Tenks.

P.S: Blogger is acting a fool right now so this post might appear multiple times in ya reader. My apologies.

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

2011-08-31T00:40:00.004-04:00

Whooooooooooooooooop Whoooooooooooooooooooooop!!!!!!

So you know i wasn't really feeling this birthday and i'd been having a bad case of the birthday blues but I just spent the past 2hrs+ acting a fool with my sister on skype, with brief interuptions from the parentals of course. OMG i love my family. I haven't laughed like this in the longest.

My mother started by calling to pray for me, reminding me of that day 2* years ago, one early Sunday morning when the nurse brought me into her room, saying that she'd been robbed because i looked nothing like her. Yea, I'm a daddy's girl even physically. Of course part of her prayer included finding a good husband. (hello husband if you're reading speak up now) LOL.

Oh and my daddy attempted to sing for me. Then he proceeded to ask me how much an iPad is because he wants to buy one. Oh, he also wants an iPad phone +______________+

My father cracks me up for true.

I can't start to list all the wonderful (and not so wonderful) things that have happened to me in the past year of my life but the most important thing is that i'm still here and oh so thankful.

I haven't done anything to deserve all the grace and mercy of God in and over my life and that of my family, but he is merciful all the same. And for this i am thankful.

I have no plans for the day besides going to pick up my divine ice cream cake from coldstone.

Oh and one of my darlings promised me cupcakes so yea, i plan to stuff my face and then get back to my books. My bank account balance is below reserve right now.

But i'm happy. And i will sleep with a smile on my face (when my sister lets me get off skype) Because i know that i am loved.

P.S Of course this means that my birthday wishlist may be showing up later today.

P.P.S I can hear a cock crowing in the background while i am talking to my sister. Ajah is a village.

P.P.P.S Dear mother nature, you really think you're slick letting Aunt Flo stay this long right? You shall not succeed.

2 more days

2011-08-29T00:28:00.002-04:00

Usually i'd be all amped jumping up and down like a happy bunny because my birthday is in two days.

Not the case this year.

There's too much else going on.

Usually by now i'd have made my birthday wish list and put it up so that all ye who love me can go ahead and show how much you care. Not this year.

I mean i'm still the same vain, beggy beggy girl that wants lots of stuff but i'm just very meh..... this time around.

Not having my usual support system physically present has me living in my head and thinking way too much these days. If you know anything about how my mind works you'd know that is not good.

Anyway it's my birthday in a couple of days.

I will officially be ancient. Yes. Ancient.

So many things i thought i'd have done by now.

But there's so much i still feel like i haven't even figured out yet.

I'm thankful still.

That i'm still here at least.

Living. Breathing. With a chance to make things happen.

One day. Soon hopefully.

I'm blabbing. I should go.

All this doesn't mean that i do not expect my birthday gifts though.

I know i haven't made a list, but you can be creative.

And if you are just lazy there's always gift cards.

Some of my favourite stores include: Ross, Marshalls, Filene's basement, Tj Maxx and DSW.

See how cheap i am. So you have no excuse.

Oh i also want a cakes. More like cakes actually.

The main cake i want is a 2-digit cake i.e 2 cakes, each in the shape of a number. Haven't found anyone who can do that for me yet.

I also wish i could get letters. Actual hand written letters from people who love me, reminding me how awesome i am.

I mean i know i'm awesome but i need a reminder sometimes.

This post is way too emo for my tastes. Ugghhh.

Have a great week people.

Recap

2011-08-21T21:46:00.004-04:00

It's just been 10 days since my last post, but it feels like longer.

A lot has happened since then. 10 days is really a lot of time in my life these days.

Of course i am no longer in Barbados but i'm here listening to soca and wishing i were still in Barbados palancing and wuking up. *sigh* If only my life were that simple.

I'll attempt to summarize the rest of my stay.

The pictures in the previous post were taken on Kadooment day. That is the main day of carnival, with the big bands, parade, colorific costumes, crazy dancing and general merriment. It typically marks the end of crop over/carnival season (i think)

People travel from far and wide to partake in Kadooment day, (It's also called playing mass) so it's not just for locals or returning nationals, if you feel like you have the energy to wear a costume and dance through the streets ~~naked~~ for several hours and you can afford a costume, then you're welcome.

There are several different bands, all with different costumes, some more intricate than others all with different prices. My friends who participated paid about $250 for their costumes which was basically a 2 piece with plenty embellishment plus a really cool headpiece. I'm sure you must have seen the now very popular pictures of Rihanna from that day. The band she played with had one of the best costumes and next year i'm sure their band will be in high demand just because Rihanna identified with them. Some bands had really wack costumes, i'm guessing those ones didn't have to pay ~~anything~~ as much. For those who ~~are too broke~~ choose not to pay and join a band, everyone is free to dress up or down as they wish, but they are not allowed to join the parade until the very very end after all the bands have gone past. Also the bands get judged and a winner is announced at the end.

The day usually begins early, it's a family type of day. So you'll find families camped out by the road, with their umbrellas, folding chairs, picnic basket and what not. On this particular day, the weather was quite terrible. It kept raining and stopping and raining some more.

Now you might think that this would somehow affect the parade right? Wrong. Not West Indian people. That saying "The show must go on" I'm certain it came from the West Indies or they must at least have their own version. I mean these people were dancing and wuking up in the rain like everything was normal. The parade did not stop, the bands kept playing, the DJs kept blasting the music from their trucks and on went the parade.

I loved admiring the different costumes. So much colour. There was one band that was a tribute to the "gods" They had differnt costumes for Orisha, Sango, Yemoja and Oshun. I squealed with joy when i saw them. I'm pretty sure very few of them knew anything about the names they had on their banners but at least one of them must've come up with that and it just felt cool. The parade usually ends at Spring Garden where all the bands gather and are judged, and the party goes on till whenever but i didn't trouble myself to go that far.

I tried to spend the rest of my days chilling, i mean i was on vacay afterall. So it was about watching sponge bob or sesame street or Blade: Trinity in my room, spa treatments, long walks to the beach, ogling shirtless fine boys ~~window~~ shopping and getting tan. About the getting tan part, it was totally unplanned but i'm like 2 shades darker, till now.

Friday August 5th was National Rihanna day in Barbados. As you may or may not know Rihanna is currently on her international #LOUDTour and of course she had to make a stop in her home country. Let me just tell you, Bajans worship Rihanna. No kidding. I mean all that week all the radio and TV stations kept going on and on about the upcoming concert. Her songs were blaring out of speakers everywhere. If you are not a fan of Rihanna then you may have gotten a concussion from hitting your head against the wall several times because of all the Rihanna talk. Peoples conversation centered around preparations for the concert.

On the D-day, offices closed early. Yes you read right. Infact there was a government issued directive that places of buisness were to close by 3pm that day. I wish i were making this up. It was touted as the biggest thing to ever happen to Barbados, in Barbados. So the excitement was palpable. Even the news that night had a segment where they interviewed people who were busy getting their hurr and nails did for the concert. It was that serious.

Oh and the night before i was at the club, chilling in a corner and next thing i know J.Cole is on stage. He was also in town for the concert and was just chilling at the club before someone spotted him and highlighted him. He's so cute too. And i was right, right next to his side of the stage :p

Bajans are some of the nicest people i've met. Definitely the most fun-loving. Forget what they say about a Lagos party, just play soca and Bajans can party all night long. Throw some rum in there and get ready for a very wild time. I've never managed to cram so much fun into such little time. The ten days or so i spent in Barbados were pretty awesome.

Alas real life has since resumed.

Have a great week people.

10 - 10

2011-08-08T23:08:00.001-04:00

Pictures

2011-08-08T22:57:00.001-04:00

Ok, so it took me a lot of time to upload those pictures to flickr and i'm sad that y'all can't see them.

I shall try picasa as suggested, but these pictures shall not be up forever, so.....

Please anyone that checks this next should let me know if they can see the pictures or not.

Thank you.

10 - 10

10-10, 30th July 2011

2011-08-07T17:40:00.001-04:00

10-10, 30th July 2011, a set on Flickr.

After the exhausting activities of J’ouvert, I somehow only managed to sleep for about 3hrs before I woke up on Saturday morning. I still didn’t have my luggage and my call to the airline that morning did not yield any results. As in they hadn’t even located my bag. I was getting highly irritated as I had no change of clothes or underwear so I went SHOPPING. (Of course any excuse to go shopping)
I spent most of the day walking through Bridgetown, entering almost every shop along the way, doing more window shopping that actual shopping. Later that evening the airline delivered my luggage so I was relieved and ready to jollificate proproly. The agenda for that night was a concert/show tagged 10-10
10-10 means 10PM – 10AM. 12 hours, 20 soca artistes, 4 bands and 10 soca Djs.
Now I wasn’t sure if they were serious about having a concert for 12hours because I wasn’t sure how possible it is, but I was grossly underestimating the bajan people. My friends and I arrived at the venue by 2:30AM, we hadn’t missed too much because as with every concert the smaller, less entertaining artistes usually start first. It was a great upbeat crowd out there. Just as it should be because if you’re not the upbeat, ready-for-anything type, you really do not have any business showing up at a soca concert. Soca artistes and Djs are crazy people, so it is considered perfectly normal for the artiste to just start shouting “WATER, WATER, WATER” and somebody would show up with a hose and start spraying water into the crowd. And they love crowd participation, so if they’re not asking you to wave your flag,, they’re asking the crowd to move to the left or right. Or randomly picking people to get on stage and dance. Oh and can I just say how it’s always the big (fat) girls that are first to rush on stage here? There was this big girl that did a split even I can not attempt. Good stuff.
And the crowd around me was just crazy. I mean when the crowd is more entertaining or just as entertaining as the stage, you know you’re at a great concert. Again there aren’t enough words to describe the madness, but I had my camera at the ready and I risked my life and health to take some pictures to share. I mean y’all owe me because I had to perfect the art of taking a picture while looking in a different direction. It was already dawn so I was able to turn off my flash but my camera battery died so I couldn’t take as many pictures as I’d wanted to.
Bajan girls are very wild and crazy with their dressing, like it’s all about pum-pum shorts or leggings. Regardless of size. I saw girls wearing shorts that I wouldn’t even wear as underwear. I saw all shapes and sizes of females in leggings, and crop tops. There were several crimes of visible panty lines, then there were just plain visible panties or straight up commando. Lots of hoodrat things going on, infact the Wwest Indies is the cradle of hoodray shenanigans. Gold capped teeth, random leg/calf tattoos, multicolored weaves,, name it i saw it that day. Women dancing crazy, crazy performances on stage, an all round crazy, fun time.
By the time 6AM rolled around people were still grooving, they just put their sunglasses on and the party continued. At some point it began to rain but the performances on stage did not stop and so the party did not stop. I promise you there is no party like a west Indian party. These people will party no matter the weather, no matter the economic climate, nothing, NOTHING stops the show. I had to buy myself a redbull to remain awake. We were at the venue till 9AM and let me just tell you we were not the last people to leave the venue.
A fun time was had by all and I returned to my room by 10:00AM not feeling sleepy because the effects of the red bull hadn’t worn off.
I’ll include the link to my flickr account where I uploaded the pictures. Flickr is turning out to be a very long tin. First it takes forever to upload the pictures and then there’s a picture limit. So if anyone can suggest a better way to share pictures it will be appreciated. I’m really not about to upload pictures to this here blog one by one.

Day 1 - J'ouvert

2011-08-04T07:30:00.002-04:00

Day 1: J’ouvert

Have you ever danced in the rain? No I mean have you ever partied in the rain?

No? Pause your existence.

Carnival or Crop over as it is called in Barbados is usually a month long affair with a series of activities.

One of these activities is J’ouvert a.k.a Foreday morning jump.

It’s basically a street jam, starting around mid-night or 2am with loud music, water, paint and mud. Yes, you read right. Water, paint and mud. Revelers dance through the streets, covered in paint and mud and basically party and have a great time. However this year my friend suggested we attend a different type of j’ouvert. This one was held in a field instead of on the streets but had all the required elements: foam, water, paint and mud. Lots of it.

Dress code for J’ouvert is usually any item you have no desire to wear again, no watch, no jewellery, crocs or old sneakers. Unfortunately the airline had lost my luggage so I was stuck wearing my good leggings and underwear, the only pair of sandals I had and my friends old top while everyone else was in tattered t-shirts and bum shorts or boyshorts (yes I mean like underwear type boyshorts) Also girls that had weaves had to come with shower caps.

There was a cover charge to get into the venue but it included open bar i.e free drinks all night. Free. Drinks. All. Night. It started raining while we were standing in line to get in but like I said it was an open field, music was blaring from the speakers and people were partying. At first it was funny to me, looking around and watching people partying in the rain like it was a normal thing. By the time I had my third drink though, I was wuking it up with the best of them. I want to compare it to a wet tshirt contest, but I was more like a wet people orgy. Try not to picture me in leggings and a top, soaked to my skin, covered in blue paint and dancing in the mud. Infact at some point I may or may not have been grinding atop a strange male on the bed of a truck (there are no pictures so it didn’t happen) It was that crazy.

There was also a water slide. People a water slide. A water slide in the rain. I went twice.

There was fat-suit wrestling, but I wasn’t interested. People were sliding in the mud too but I wasn’t that crunk.

There was also a water man with a high pressure hose that kept intermittently hosing people down as they danced. I kept getting hosed down, then I’d get cold so I’d have to dance some more, then I’d start to feel muddy, then I’d get hosed down again. It was like a wash cycle. Rinse. Repeat.

Really there isn’t any way that I can use words to capture the epic awesomeness that was J’ouvert. You had to be there to understand. I know as you’re reading this you’re probably thinking “She’s crazy” (that’s if you’re new to this blog because that one is stale gist) “Why would anyone want to party covered in mud and paint” Trust me the first carnival I witnessed I stood on the sidelines watching people getting wet down and shaking my head but this time around, being in it, I understood what I had missed.

The Dj kept spinning mad soca tunes one after the next and we partied into the morning. By morning I mean 4:30 AM. By this time I’d gone a whole 24hrs without sleep and little food so I was knackered but the people I was with decided to go skinny dipping at the beach to wash off the mud before going home.

Like I said I was already soaked to my skin and was starting to shiver in the early morning breeze so there was no way I was about to take off my already wet clothes and jump into the cold sea by 5AM so I sat in the car and dozed off, and dozed till I was dropped off. I headed straight to the shower but not before taking a peek at myself in the mirror. Let’s just say I could barely recognize the happy blue person with muddy legs staring back at me.

Day 3

2011-08-02T13:48:00.003-04:00

Seeing as I got in after 10 AM from the concert, Sunday was spent in bed with lots of sleep and TV watching.

That afternoon I got a text from my friend inviting me to her friend’s birthday dinner.

My friend (I’ll call her Sunshine because she’s the absolute most sweetest person you’ll ever meet) is a Bajan that I met while I was in the States last year, she now works as a doctor here in Barbados and is rather bougie by Bajan standards. So I get all dressed up in my LBD and my colorific shoes courtesy of my darling Fabulo-la and Sunshine came to pick me up in her nice Mercedes around 7PM.

We head to the restaurant which is located in a really swanky resort somewhat in the outskirts of Barbados. It’s long drive but a great opportunity to play catch up. She’d told me we were going to a really nice Japanese restaurant and she hadn’t lied. The entrance had a pool of colorful fish of different sizes swimming around and we were welcomed by waitresses dressed as geishas, without the face paint. That’s when I knew I was in trouble because for them to pay so much attention to detail, e mean say the food go cost.

I got to meet 3 new people, 2 of them actually skipped work and flew into Barbados just to participate in the carnival. The guy came from Trinidad and the girl came all the way from Florida. Oh and she works in Nordstrom *ding ding* STAFF DISCOUNT!!! (Don’t you just love having friends who work in retail? 20-30% off is not beans) Of course I took her email and BB pin. Yes please.

Dinner was great. I did well to stay away from the sushi before I go and order EXPENSIVE uncooked seafood that I will not be able to eat and still have to pay for. Mba nu, I can’t fit. Perfect ambience, good conversation with lovely people and I think I somehow commited to jumping in Trinidad carnival next year. We’ll see how that goes. Of course when the bill arrived my mind cut no be small. I realized I probably shouldn’t have let the waitress suggest that cocktail that wasn’t even on the menu and that I should probable have skipped that desert of tempura cheesecake. Oh and since there was a service charge included in my bill i didn't leave a tip. Abeg i'm not having like that.

My friend Sunshine had to go to work but the others were headed to cohoblopot which is one of the crop over events as well. Basically it’s a concert with different soca artistes, comedians and such. This year it was headlined by Machel Montano who is a huge soca artiste from Trinidad. After the money I’d just shelled out I wasn’t about to pay money to stand on my feet half the night (AGAIN) plus the last full night of sleep I had was on Wednesday night so I went home to watch cohoblopot on the pay per view channel.

P.S – The name of the restaurant is Zen and it is located in The Crane Resort which is a really scenic upscale 5 diamond resort that was modeled after the old Bridgetown. It’s really beautiful and I would definitely recommend it for people with PLENTY money looking for a serene vacation spot. It’s very far away from the bustle of Bridgetown with a pristine beach and all the bells and whistles that come with a standard hotel so spa, fitness centre, several shops and restaurants.

I know i'm doing this ass backwards starting from Day 3 but please bear with me, i just had to start somewhere. Meanwhile i'm working on setting up a flickr account so i can share pictures with you my lovies. You will have to be patient though because this is real work.

On my way

2011-07-31T22:56:00.001-04:00

I have to start by saying thank you for all the congratulatory messages and comments from my last post. I had comments from some people I didn’t even know still read this here blog. Made me feel very special.

Thank you all.

Since I love you all very much, and there’s no way I could send you all tickets to join me in Barbados or carry you along in my luggage, I’ll do my best to chronicle my time here in as much detail as I can manage.

I’ll start with the journey itself.

My flight was booked for Thursday evening, I was excited, got to the airport late and was told the flight had closed. I begged and pleaded but was made to understand that the airline had sent a 37 seater plane instead of a 50 seater (yes there are planes that tiny) Like who does that? Only Liat airlines. The dumbass airline. I begged to be moved to the next available flight for the night, I was willing to wait at the airport for the next 3hrs. However, the ticket I had required me to pass the night in Antigua where I was to catch my connecting flight to Barbados. What I didn’t know is that Nigerian passport holders are not allowed to overnight in Antigua without a visa. So there was no way I could fly that same night. And all the tickets to Barbados were sold out with the earliest available flight on Monday. MONDAY. This was on Thursday night. I didn’t even know whether to laugh or cry so I called a taxi and went home.

Returned to the airport by 5AM the next morning to at least be on standby just incase some passengers didn’t show up. Mind you this flight was already overbooked. I needed at least 8 people to not show up for me to make it onto the flight. I stood by the check-in counter watching other people check-in while feverently praying that some people would not show up. Somehow that didn’t happen, but as God would have it, a couple of people showed up with expired passports and so weren’t allowed to fly. When I say God is good, you say AMEN. That’s how I managed to get a flight that day.

In typical Liat fashion, the flight touched down in Barbados 2hrs later than scheduled. I was just thankful that I’d made it, after spending the customary (for Nigerians) 20mins at immigration, I get to the luggage conveyor belt, and 30mins later my luggage still didn’t show up. By this time I was just fed up. I quickly reported it, the airline took my info and promised to be in touch as soon as they found it.

So I’m here in Barbados, in the same clothes I wore the day before (hey don’t judge me, there was no way I would’ve found something else to wear by 4:30am).

Meanwhile I’d planned to go out that night. I did make it to J’ouvert somehow but J’ouvert deserves it’s own post so I’ll stop here. For now.

I am very thankful to God for answered prayers because that day was definitely a series of miracles.

Thanks again for all the love.

Week 72

2011-07-24T22:14:00.003-04:00

For some reason i don't feel any different or special.

I've only waited for this for say almost 8 years.

This journey started in October 2003. In a village in Nigeria, the location of a private university that turned out to be not what was promised.

October 2003. Year 1. 100 Level Medicine. College of Health Sciences. Martic number 03/002093/HSC.

Fast foward. 3 years later. Sept 2006. The results of my last exam were up on the notice board and it wasn't good news. I'd failed, along with half of my class. I was asked to repeat a year.

If one could die from crying, i'd probably have died then. I cried my soul out. I was afraid to go home. I felt like a terrible failure. I wrote long letters apologizing to my parents for being a failure. My sister would sit on the floor and cry with me because i wouldn't stop.

After plenty family meetings and lots of coercion i resumed school the next semester. Against my will i changed course to pharmacy and had to sit in a class with people who were 2 years my junior, and watch my mates prepare to start their junior postings. I hated it.

So i started to search for a way out.

And that's how i got here.

I'd never even heard of this country before, but anything was better than where i was. So i left.

My school requires completion of 72 weeks of clinical rotations (i.e in after 2 semesters of premed and 4 of basic sciences and 1 of physical diagnosis)

Today is the beginning of week 72.

So by Friday i'd have fufilled all requirements to receive my Doctor of Medicine degree.

I still have ways to go, there's still the U.S liscencing exams i have to take, then apply to residency programs and match by the grace of God.

But the student part. Over. Fin. Dunzo!!!

Looking back now, there's so much i have to be thankful for. When i failed that exam in 2006, i thought my life was over, but it was probably the best thing to have happened to me. That private university i refuse to name, has turned out to be more a less a sinkhole. My friends who passed and stayed back are still yet to graduate as i type. Plus some of the opportunites and experiences i've had are things that would probably have only remained in my dreams.

So do join me as i celebrate, wherever you are at the end of the week, have a glass for me. I know i shall be having several bottles.

Of course in true Mizchif fashion i shall be going out with a bang.

I already have my ticket to Barbados booked. Infact i'm all packed and ready.

It's crop-over/carnival season in Barbados so i shall be partying non-fucking-stop.

I have activities lined up for Fri, Sat and Sunday already. It's about to be on.

Mizchif M.D

My Entry

2011-07-22T22:11:00.004-04:00

It is finally here.

The moment you have all been waiting for.

Yes.

An opportunity to hear my voice. YAY! ( I know you are excited, stop forming)

So i decided to hop on the language challenge started by our very own blogsville's finest, Sugabelly. I'd been meaning to do this but in my usual way of putting things off, it hasn't happened till now, thanks to the gentle prodding of Nice-Anon and also the fact that i was so happy to hear Gingers entry because she also speaks Owerri.

Besides it's a Friday night and i have nothing better to do (but torture myself with stupid IQ depleting nollywood movies) so why not.

Audio Recording on Friday night by S09876

Now one of the rules is that i'm supposed to translate, hmmmmm, assignment.

Lets see:

My people i greet you, my name is Mizchif, i have decided to join in this language challenge started by our sister Sugabelly who has asked us to speak our language,, anyway we know how. I am an Owerri girl, therefore i speak in Owerri dialect. Sorry if you don't understand, i'll try to explain in english when i'm done. However i won't be able to speak everything in Igbo, so expect some EngliIgbo anyhow you hear am make you try understand am like that.

It makes me feel somehow that children of today, that is us, do not know how to speak our language and the number of people who speak our languages are not many, everybody speaks english now and talks through their noses. And this isn't how it should be. it is good for us to know our language and know where we are from. if you see your kindred on the road you greet in your language, e dey sweet for body.

Anyway i heard Ginger's entry which she also did in Owerri, (sexy chuckle) which is exactly what i'd planned to do since but no time but i like her entry. also my sister Nice Anon who started by blowing english later she go kon talk sat she be bush geh, she no be any bush geh shey you see as she dey blow fone for us dia. no we no gree.

Ok so i don't have anything else to tell you, i just wanted to join in, make e no be like say dem do dis kain tin and i just pam for where i dey no put mouth.

Ok so i had to play this thing back several times to do this transcript and i have to say that it would be almost miraculous if this audio goes up because i am hella tempted to delete it. I sound veeeerrrryyyyyyyyy slooooooooooow. Me no likey. I'm tempted to try recording another one but.........meh whatever. Just take me as i am.

I think that this challenge is a great way to have fun and share. It really is sad that a whole lot of our generation do not speak/understand our languages and it is only getting worse. Worst hit in my opinion is the Igbo language because i've noticed that wherever you find Yoruba people they are constantly speaking their language, same for hausa folks but Igbo people would rather try to phonerize with our Igbo accents. A friend of mine who grew up in the east actually told me that many families discouraged their children from speaking igbo because that was meant for "omata" people and not children of rich men who went to good schools :(

Special sharrout to my darling Original Mgbeke who might as well not bother playing this audio because she will only understand the 2 or 3 lines i said in english. ( I love you boo)

So speak people and do have a great weekend.

My road, your road.

2011-07-19T20:25:00.003-04:00

I've always been a scribbler. Today i was rummaging through a box of my old stuff and found some of my old notebooks. Some of the stuff i found in there made me laugh, get misty eyed and generally reminded me how special i am. Some of the these scribbles are super corny and unshareable, but they are all me.

Anyhow i found this poem by Robert Frost that i copied into my notebook because it struck a chord.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

The struggle to take the road less traveled by is so real in my life. So far i remain on the frequently traveled road, while i pray for strength and guidance to one day get on the road less traveled.

Rewind

2011-07-05T22:34:00.002-04:00

Don't you sometimes wish that life came with it's own remote control. Kinda like that movie with Adam Sandler (i do not remember the name and i can not be bothered to ask google)

Well if i had a remote control for my own life, i would rewind to the time when i was 10yrs old/JSS1 and pause there for a very long time. My life was perfect. Mummy shopped for clothes and i wore them whether i liked them or not, daddy paid school fees, i was chauffer driven to and from school. All i had to do was get good grades (which was not a problem at all) and do what i was told. Nobody asked for my opinion. The hardest decisions i had to make involved what to buy in tuck shop during break-time. There was that oily sugar-coated puff puff drizzled with sugar then there was that deliciously over seasoned meat-pie. Decisions, decisions.

Now i'm all growed-up (yes GROWED) and i have to do all these many things myself, and be responsible to boot. I am called on to give my opinion when there's an issue in the family, i have to manage my funds and ignore that bad ass pair of designer shades because rent is due. I have to set the example because i am the first child and my siblings look up to me.

What started this train of thought you ask?

Well today i had to begin the residency application process. Paying fees, filling out forms and so and such. Looking at programmes in different states, because not every state offers the residency programmes i'm interested in. Oh and there's the part where i have to indicate that i am a foreign national and i'll be needing visa sponsorship because not every programme is IMG (International Medical Graduate) friendly and will be willing to sponsor me. Plus my Step 1 score is not exactly the best score. oh and i still have to take Step 2 by September. Then there's the interview circuit, that's if anybody even looks at my application. *sigh*

It just all feels too much.

Yes it will be well, I will be fine, yada yada yada, so don't comment and tell me that.

I just want to curl up between my mummy and daddy and fall sleep without any worries knowing they'd take care care of everything.

Testimony: Praise, praise, PRAISEEEEEEEEEE DA LORD!!!!!! Hallelujah somebody.

I was sitting in front on the bus on my way back from school today, earpiece in, bopping to some Chris Brown when the vehicle in front of us stopped suddenly in the middle of the road. The bus driver had to brake really hard and stopped just short of hitting the vehicle in front of us. Disaster averted.

NOT.

The vehicle behind us ran into the bus i was in.

I am fine. Nothing happened to me. Not one scratch. I was in shock for a bit and somewhat teary-eyed, but fine otherwise. I don't even want to imagine any alternative outcome.

God knows that a whole Ada Doctor of Emeka and Nkechi has to return to them safe and sound biko. I can't even tell my mother this type of story.

So please follow me and thank the Lord for He is good and merciful and kind and He loves me.

Hmmmmmm, blogging ey?

2011-06-24T18:22:00.003-04:00

I while ago somebody (i think it was Sting) blogged about how most of the Nigerian bloggers blog anonymously and it got me thinking.

Why do i blog anonymously?

Well i started blogging mainly as a way to air my thoughts and generally just share. I liked the freedom of sharing anonymously with no one to judge me. I may be wrong but i've noticed that when there's a face to associate with, there tends to be more animosity.

Also this blog is a personal blog, i.e i write personal stuff on here. It may not seem like it now, but if you've been following this blog from the beginning you'd know that i've talked about any and everything on here.

I like the freedom to be able to talk about my sister, friends or even my parents, without the thought of somebody that knows me/them in real life reading and drawing stupid conclusions.

I like the freedom to be able to share stories that involve my friends without everyone trying to figure out who i'm referring to in my real life.

I like to be able to pour my heart out on here.

So for these reasons, anonymous blogging totally rocks.

Now with the advent of twitter, i'm only semi-anonymous if anything, plus i've met quite a number of readers of this blog in real life anyway (awesome folks...well except one) but still to put my face on here is just not something i'd be doing anytime soon.

While i'm at this i might as well share my ........... observations.

Allow me to reminisce.

I started blogging in May 2008, but even before i started blogging, i'd been an avid reader of a number of Nigerian blogs and i was awed and inspired by most of them. There was talent, there was creativity there were laughs, there was drama but above all there was a sense of community. It was about looking foward to stories about TE and co over on Solomonsydelle's blog, or the naughty pictures preceding each post by Afrobabe, or the hilarious posts by the real fine boy, and the tales from the motor park by Fineboy agbero, and the naughtiness of all the posts by Ubong or catching up on Mommy Mondays then trying to oust Bumight (the jobless student)who went around shouting first on every post.

Notice how i'm using past tense.

Lately i have observed a new set of bloggers. Sometimes i refer to them as "twitter bloggers". The ones that flood your timeline with links to their blogs and have their friends and fans RT it to infinity. It's like blogging has now become the "popular" thing to do. While i have to admit that i have discovered some new blogs that have amazing content and are brilliantly written, i also have to say that IN MY OPINION most of the "new set" do it for popularity. People now blog for comments and RTs, or to show us how wierd/twisted/witty/sarcastic they are. While some just be plain bragging and not bothering to clean it up with their blog posts.

I can't knock anybodys hustle, and i'm not principal abi headmistress of blogger, me i'm just an observer...but i sure do miss the old "gang".

Anyhow, as say no be me get blogspot/wordpress and nobody dey pay me, make i talk anoda tin.

It's music festival over here. Tonight has artistes such as Gytian, Demarco and Maxi Priest amongst others. I don't expect you to know who these are if you're not a reggae/soca head but if you are, you can imagine how excited i am. However......... i am BROKE. Broke as in i just withdrew the last of the money i have in the bank this afternoon. Broke as in i can pay for a regular ticket for this concert but that would mean i'd have to eat only what i have in my fridge (bread, stew, tomatoes, brown rice) for all of next week and also trek everywhere.

*le sigh*

Somebody hinted that he could hook me up with a ticket sha, so in faith i am getting REDDEEEHHHH! I have faith, faith that provideth V.I.P ticket.

Let's just hope this man that is offering ticket is not expecting more than a smile, a hug and 'thank you" in return, if not, he shall be highly dulled.

So that's it folks. Have a restful, happy weekend.

Bisous.

Everybody's Free

2011-06-19T21:33:00.003-04:00

This just came on on my iTunes Library

I haven't played this in a while. Great words of advice.
Always valid.
I'll just highlight some of m favourite lines.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you

Sing

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Truer words have not been spoken.
I could really just go ahead an highlight every line but i'll stop with these.

Hope you had a restful weekend.

Cheers to the new week.

Be well.

VCT observations

2011-06-07T20:37:00.003-04:00

About a week ago i had the opportunity to serve as a counsellor during a Voluntary Counselling and Testing for HIV/AIDS held at the hospital as part of a community outreach programme.
My role was to talk to the clients before they got tested, basically to reassure them, field any questions and educate them. I found it very interesting and i also made some interesting observations that i thought to share.

Out of the 60 or so clients i saw that day, only about 8 of them were male.
Generally it is known that more women than men seek medical attention, but for a situation as delicate as this, and given the fact that the testing was being done at no charge, it is definitely interesting to note that more males than females are less concerned about their HIV status.
This just reinforced my arguement that women should be more responsible about their sexual/reproductive health. For starters the female anatomy is designed for reception and as such females have a higher predisposition to all STDs. Also while certain STDs are symptomatic in males (they start itching or have difficulty passing urine) not all are symptomatic in females, therefore a female can have an STD and not present with any symptoms and therefore not get treatment. Untreated STDs in women can lead to pelvic inflamatory disease and subsequent infertility.

One of the ways by which sexually active women can protect themselves is by insisting on condom use and by keeping their own condoms. Yes, i said it, KEEPING THEIR OWN CONDOMS. I recently read a comment somewhere that said "If you're ashamed/shy to buy condoms, you probably shouldn't be having sex" And i agree whole heartedly.
If you're worried about being judged by a man you are having sex with for being safe (by having your own condoms) then he should carry his limp dick else where. The day i read that Will.I.Am interview where he said something about women keeping condoms being tacky i wanted to slap somebody.

Oh and i read a related post that i found interesting.

Too many people out there are still having unprotected sex.
Several of my clients were teenage mothers. I mean the 17yr olds with 2yr old children.
And quite a number of them admitted openly to not using condoms, citing different reasons, from allergies, to not liking how they felt. This surprised me because i expected these reasons more from the men, but these girls were sat before me telling me about how they preferred sex without condoms. As for the ones who claimed to be allergic, latex allergies are documented but it is also shown that they exist in a very small number of the population. But even then condom manufacturers now have a different material called polyurethane which is used to make condoms for people who are allergic to latex, therefore the excuse of latex allergies is no longer valid.

There is still a lot of ignorance regarding HIV/AIDS
One of the questions i asked each client was "Tell me what you know about HIV" and a good amount of them could only tell me that it is a deadly disease. I feel like there's too much of a global campaign against HIV for people to still be so ignorant about it, but i realised that there may not be enough education and that some of these campaigns could be better targeted towards particular audiences. A lot more can be done with regards to HIV/AIDS education.

Now this is my experience here in my little tiny village island in the West Indies where (according to studies) HIV is not very prevalent although this is a miracle by itself because these people are some of the most openly promiscous people you will ever come across.
However from what i gather such is not the case in Nigeria. From my discussions with friends in the medical field in Nigeria, from lab techs to doctors, HIV prevalence rates are ALARMING. I had to type that in capitals. One of my friends said she spent about 2 months at LUTH and there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't see an AIDS patient.
Another one in Akure said most of the cases she saw were in pregnant women because they had to be tested compulsorily as part of thier antenatal work up.
Most of the patients they see are already at the full blown AIDS stage because nobody gets tested routinely. And in some cases, after being diagnosed with HIV, patients refuse to go for treatment because of the stigma attached to it. I'm talking about people refusing to go and collect FREE medication because of fear of stigmatisation.
Wives bring their husbands to the doctor complaining that he has been losing weight, only to learn that their husbands had already been diagnosed with HIV long since, they just failed to pass on the information.

There's so much more that can be done with regards to HIV/AIDS education and prevention. The much you can do is protect yourself. I'm not going to sit here and preach abstinence ~~seeing as i don't exactly practice that~~ but if you're going to be sexually active then you should be responsible and safe about it. Get tested regularly.
One of the popular AIDS campaigns in the region ends with: GET SOME WITH IT OR NONE WITHOUT IT.

Nothing

2011-05-28T00:07:00.002-04:00

I've been kinda absent.

Well it's another Friday night that i am not out on the town accepting drinks from random men, so it's just me, my laptop and Nollywood love. I have several posts scheduled in my head but none actually typed out so this might be somewhat random.

I wrote my last school exam today. I don't want to call it my final exam on here because i still have 2 liscencing exams to take this year so nothing is really final. However, by August i'll be a medical school graduate. i don't know how i feel to be honest. On one hand i'm relieved to be done with the school part, on the other hand i'm scared of what lies ahead. Lately i've had a few "moments". Moments of fear, confusion and other emotions i can't really articulate but i'm sure God will work everything out.
I need to pray more. I hardly do these days.

Recently i lost a family member. My baby cousin. I didn't get to meet him while i was home, because my uncle lives in the village with his family and there was no way my parents were going to let me travel by road to the village and i couldn't afford airfare, plus the remote possibility of being kidnapped. So i never met the little one. He was the 2nd son of my uncle, and his 5th or 6th child. Nobody has given any clear cause of death. Child fell ill, was taken to the doctor, condition wasn't diagnosed correctly, medications were administered, child went home, child died.
I don't want to dwell on how avoidable this death was, but i'm sure he is back in heaven playing with the angels, so it's all good.

I need a money making venture, or a sugar daddy. I feel crippled.
Funny how i always talk about this sugar daddy, the day he will show up na me go first run.

Sometimes I miss having a boyfriend, the attention and such, then everyday i hear of the stories of infidelity and abuse SOME women suffer in relationships and i'm like "nah, i'm straight".
I'm bored. This is never a good thing.

Are you on twitter? I find it to be very interesting, depending on who you follow of course. The conversations/interactions range from dumb-vapid-intellectual banter. I'm more of a lurker though, but i love it. Biggest distraction though.

This post is not going in any meaningful direction. i should stop and get back to my Nollywood movies. If you don't know of Nollywood love on youtube yet you are on a dulling P. Get to it.

A proper post soon come, don't worry.

Oh and Hi new readers *waves* I'm usually not this melancholic.
Your comments make me happy.
Thanks for stopping by.

Eko for show

2011-05-06T21:25:00.004-04:00

It's a friday night and since i'm not out accepting drinks from random men and dancing into the morning, i thought "ah, why not blog?"
Genius right?
I know.

So i know that my last 2 posts have been downers, but i had fun in naij o, i can't even lie.
Good thing is i am a simple creature, i don't need too much to have fun.
One of my best things to do was people watch and there's no better place for that than Lagos, Nigeria.

So many things this post might be about, but just go with the flow.

I mentioned earlier that the heat in Nigeria was shocking as in very hot heat. But you know what they say about when you get used to something, you don't notice it as much. however, i would like to disagree in the case of lagos folk. I concluded that some people must be walking around with personal cooling systems. Ask me why.
How else can you explain people wearing winter gear in 35 degree weather?
No you sef tink am. You know how it's spring now and people in the abroad are already roaming the streets half naked, yet in Nigeria i saw people wearing tights and sweater and walking on the road, looking normal. While i was sweating just looking at them.
Or the woman on my flight from Abuja to Lagos who had a trenchcoat.
A trenchcoat. I mean why would you own even hold a trenchcoat in that weather if you don't have a personal self cooling system?
You think it's only them M.I and ElDee that wear leather jackets, you think wrong. People wear leather jackets and roll up into the club feeling fly as hell. Guys dress up and then drape those heavy wool/cashmere LV or Gucci scarves around their necks, in the hot afternoon.
#NoComment

I have to give it to the people of Lagos though, their dressing finna be on point.
Lil ol me, being the country bumkin that i am, was sure to be found hopping out of my car in a dress, flats and naked face, with my hair held away from my face. however, everywhere i looked there were BABES, as in B.A.B.E.S!!!! When i say babes...........ok you get what i mean.
As in me sef i dey trip. I wonder how the guys cope.
Sidebar: If you have are doing LDR with a man that is in Lagos.....the Lord is your strength.

As i was saying, lagos girls show up dressed to the nines, 24/7/365.
I partly blame this on the fact that any and every event is now a red carpet affair. Not like i attended any, but i'm sure there are 1yr old birthday parties that have red carpets too. I mean these camera men are everywhere and as funny as it sounds there are loads of people whose life ambition is to appear on the pages of THISDAY Style., therefore they must be ready at all times.
While i was walking around with a face you could fry egg on, i saw girls who never broke a sweat, even walking around with 400g of 24" of human hair flowing down to their ankles.
I bow.

However, the part i don't like is how we can hold on to a trend and flog the hell out of it.
Like this human hair one, it's almost like a uniform. Waist length human hair, plus the ones that can't afford one full bundle, to the ones that have to use 10 so that you can calculate how much their hair is worth when you look at them. Or is it the "nerd glasses"? Sometimes it's just somehow to walk into an event and everyone is wearing the same outfit in different colours.
However, thanks to the "vintage" movement for making Tejuosho chic and in vogue, the fashionista set also try their best to look as alternative as possible, almost to the point of looking costumey but hurray for diversity ey?

One thing about the Lagos social scene is the "sameness" of it.
By "sameness" i mean it's the same type of event taking place 100times over.
There's the fashion shows which are inumerable. As you already know, everybody and their mothers cat is a fashion designer so every weekend there's a runway show where they showcase remixed ankara, use ankara to sew blazer and put #35,000 price tag, add ankara bow to primark top and try to sell it to you for #7,000.
Now the same fashionistas/fashionistos that attend one show attend all the shows so i can imagine that it might get boring for me at least to keep seeing the same faces everywhere, all the time, plus tedious having to avoid repeating clothes but i'm sure their extensive closets can manage.

Other events include award shows. There's an award for any and everything these days too. And of course those come with customary red/yellow/green carpets and you don't want to know how people go out of their way to be seen at these events.
There's also shop openings/launching which is usually a come-sip-champagne-and-buy-overpriced-clothes.
Can i just say how EXPENSIVE stuff is in Nigeria? I mean i know i am a cheapie but the prices i saw things going for ehn. Enter a shop on Awolowo rd, touch one dress they will tell you #48,000.
That's how i carried my leg to LPM, i saw one alright ankara remixed sokoto na im i ask how much they said #19,000. I just kept it moving with the quickness. How iwill i just randomly stroll out of my house one Sunday evening, take #19,000 out of my purse and dash somebody for sokoto? Say who die?

I love my Lagos people oh, true. I mean where else do you see girls just strolling through the mall on a Tuesday afternoon in Louboutins? The ironic thing about it though is that is you ask one of these girls what they do, you might not get an answer. Half of them are students, the other half, well, no be from my mouth you go hear say fanta orange. Seriously, there are faces i know because they appear in every edition of THISDAY Style, City People and even on Bella Naija but what they do is so top secret that no one knows.
In this case i might be a little jealous. I'm here, managing myself from meagre monthly allowance to meagre monthly allowance while my mates are driving fancy cars around the streets of Lagos and generally lounging. Must be nice.

This post will not be complete if i don't talk about the fakeness though.
The FAKENESS!!
Jesu.
People you know do not like you but see you with someone they consider important enough and suddenly they are all smiley and chatty with you. Oh and don't forget the two cheek air kiss. Tres importante. I definitely had plenty of laughs.
Oh and you know how when you're on twitter and people are tweeting "OMG popping bottles at Auto Lounge"? Right. Be not decieved. In front of me one day at one bar/club, the occupants of the table next to me had to call a serious meeting after their bill arrived and the money they had was not enough.
The struggle to impress who-i-don't-know is so real.
Or all those in da club twitpics that flood your timeline sometimes, don't be jealous.
People dress up, leave their houses and go to the club to take pictures.
The day i saw this one i was quite weak. This group of boys and girls entered the VIP area and ALL they did was take pictures on their blackberries ALL night. Till they left. I'm not exagerrating.

Nigeria my country is definitely a good place to have fun, even if you're a broke ass like myself, just 'tach with the right people and you'll be good.
I almost can't wait to go VISIT again.

FMC

2011-04-28T22:55:00.004-04:00

You might want to read my last post for some background.

That we self-discharged after the doctor told us stories of how he'd completed surgeries with the aid of torchlight, did not mean that the inflamed appendix in my sister's abdomen had miraculously healed itself.

My mother took her to Federal Medical Center (FMC) Ebute-Metta where she was admitted once more. At this point one might ask "Why another Federal/Government institution?"
My parents reason was that Government hospitals employ more specialists as opposed to a private practice where the surgeon doubles as anaesthesioligist. Also there's the fact that both my parents are now retired, so money no too dey.

Anyway, she was booked for an emergency surgery the next day, we did not want to consider trasfusion as an option given the numerous cases of post-transfusion infections with HIV and the like. However her PCV was rechecked and it had miraculously increased, meaning she was fit for surgery. For PCV to go from 22 to 36 in less than a week is either a miracle or a previous lab error.
Anyhow, the facilities at FMC were way better than FMH, the private room was very comfortable and there was a stand-by generator. However the surgeon in charge of the case had the worst attitude ever. I work with doctors/surgeons, so i know how egotistic they are and i can tell you i haven't met any like this one.

3 days after the surgery was performed, he walks into her room with his junior doctors/house officers. None of them makes a move to examine her, not one. He doesn't even come close to her bed, or address her directly to find out how she is doing. I'm sitting there looking at him in disbelief as he makes to leave the room. I then ask why he hasn't at least taken a look at the wound/incision site.
His response in the most condescending tone imaginable : "I would have expected you to ask me a more resourceful question. This is my problem with black people, but i will forgive you because english is not your first language. If what you want is for her to be discharged, then you say so"

SHOCK. RAGE.

All this because i asked a doctor a question concerning patient care, care of a patient under his care. My sister had to beg me to calm down because i was pretty incensed. I'll blame this one on the Dr worship practiced in Nigeria, that makes doctors feel like they are Gods and hence should not be questioned. I have seen countless appendectomys done. Post-operatively, the wound site is observed for signs of infection, cleaned and dressed appropriately and REGULARLY. Now i understand that perhaps it is too much for them to change common plaster everyday, but it would not have been too much for the doctor to tell me this like a human being. But no, Nigerian doctors do not believe in patient education and are loathe to answering any and all questions.

Thankfully, my sister is well. She is fully recovered and at home recuperating with a scar that she absolutely hates (which of course speaks about the doctors technique, but anyways)

One of my major prayer points has always been to thank God for good health now it is all the more reinforced. This whole long story i typed, only because of appendicitis, common appendicitis. I refuse to imagine what would happen in the case of a really serious illness.
Now you know why anybody that can afford it is flown abroad when they have a headache.
However, the average Nigerian can barely afford the Federal institutions.
Before we left FMH, we had spent no less than #80,000. So the "common" man would probably have just gone home to die with the appendix after paying consultation fee.

We only get to hear stories of people who have died in Nigerian hospitals if they are famous enough, the nameless, faceless ones that die on the daily due to sheer neglect on the part of medical personnel or just lack of basic hospital facilities are too numerous to count.

The young boy who was wheeled out just before my sisters surgery died for reasons which are still unclear. I witnessed a woman hobble into the ER after being run over by a vehicle, everybody parted way for her to hobble on, saying their "eeeeeyyyyaaaaas". No ambulance. No stretcher. No nurse.
I saw an accident, where the car toppled over and it was onlookers who stopped to help the occupants out of the vehicle and offer them pure water and *pele (sorry in Yoruba)

All these stories took place in Lagos, Our pride and joy and most metropolitan city, so you don't even want to imagine what goes on in some other states.

This hospital episode left a bitter taste in my mouth and totally changed my mind about moving home anytime soon too. Yea feel free to stone me.
Now that i'm back to my little village island, i can try to start hoping again. Hoping that one day things will get better because it's home, because i still have my whole family there and because all i can do right now is hope and pray.

FMH

2011-04-22T14:46:00.009-04:00

I started writting this post almost a month ago but........

A few weeks before my trip, my sister was diagnosed with sub-acute appendicitis. In an ideal situation, the ideal thing to do when a diagnosis of apendicitis is made is an appendectomy i.e surgery to remove the appendix. However the Government hospitals were on strike at the time, therefore she was sent home on a course of antibiotics and pain killers. Not so ideal.

A couple of weeks later, the pain started again. This time i was home. We were referred to Federal Military Hospital in Ikoyi.

This is where my story starts.

On arrival there's the pre-requisite #200 to obtain a card and open a file, then you sit and wait for the doctor to see you. What we didn't know is that there is another fee, a consultation fee that has to be paid before the doctor can even speak to you. After this was paid, the doctor examined her and booked her for surgery the next day. He ordered some tests and gave us a bill. Turns out you have to pay for the operating theater seperately and then the surgery itself seperately. That is of course after paying the lab for the test. All this before your name can get on the surgery list.

After all this we had to wait for at least 3hrs for her hospital admission to be processed. While waiting, we went up to the ward where she was supposed to be admitted. Unfortunately, i do not have a picture, and there aren't enough words for me to use to descibe it for you to fully appreciate it. When my mum asked, i said it reminded me of those tents that were set-up for the people of Haiti after the earthquake. Only difference was that this was an actual building made of real blocks but the conditions inside were just as deplorable and unsanitary. The general bathroom had sprung a leak and was causing a growing puddle in the middle of the ward yet everyone walked on by, buisness as usual.

No way was my sister going to sleep out on the general ward,so we arranged a "V.I.P" (private) room. Fortunately i have pictures of the V.I.P room to share with you.

Trust me, the room looks too beautiful in these pictures.

My mother could not believe her eyes when she saw the room, but alas we had already paid, so we left my sister and went home. I was only to glad to get out of the hospital, but i got home and couldn't sleep because i'd left my sister alone there, so later that night i got my dad to take me back. Got back to the hospital to find it in darkness. D.A.R.K.N.E.S.S as in NEPA had done their thing and they only run generator in the day time i.e 9am-5pm. Fin.

I asked one of the nurses for a mattress seeing how narrow their bed was and he nicely said that the only free mattress on the ward was last used by a patient with chicken pox and wasn't properly sterilized afterwards so he would advice me to share with my sister. But you know the next unassuming patient on that ward would have no option than to use that unsterile mattress.

I can't say we really slept in that heat, looking out through our window at the brightly lit doctors quarters, where the generator was working overtime. We were woken sometime around 5am by one of the nurses who came to take my sisters blood pressure. He wheeled in his cart and asked "Where is your light?"

You don't want to imagine my bafflement.

We said we didn't have no light, so i had to hold up my phone for him to take her blood pressure reading. Yes, they go round administering medication and taking blood pressure using light from telephones or torchlight where available.

It was the day of surgery, her lab results were returned to her. None of the doctors or nurses took a look at it, she was taken to the surgical floor. One of the doctors came out and handed me a list of things to buy, this list included IV fluids, IV antibiotics, normal saline and even syringe. Yes, syringe and cannula, that little plastic thing used to administer injections. At this point i was almost too numb to be shocked. All items to be bought before surgery can commence. They have a pharmacy that stocks all these items and is open 24hrs. While at this pharmacy i saw someone with a list that included plaster, as in you know regular plaster you use for wounds or to hold down a cannula, yes, that plaster.

I returned with all the items requested, only to be informed by the doctor, (who had only just taken a look at her test results) that the surgery had to be postponed because her blood count was low.

Now ideally, before any surgery, it is the doctors duty to ensure that the patient is fit for surgery. One very simple test is the PCV (packed cell volume) to determine how much blood the patient has in order to prevent blood loss during surgery. This test is very simple. the fact that it took them a whole day to return the test results and the fact that the doctor didn't ask for them until she was almost under is just gross negligence that i can't even speak on right now.

I could tell you about how the nurse asked me for "hand glove" when he came to administer her antibiotics, how i had to buy a box of latex gloves, and cotton wool and spirit, or how they can't administer your medication if you don't have a syringe and needle or how we spent 2 more nights there without electricity before we finally insisted on being discharged. Oh did i mention how the lifts do not work, so after surgery, the patient is wheeled out of the theater and has to be carried up the stairs (with the help of a relation because there are no porters) back to the ward. Do u want to imagine how easy it is to carry a patient who is half concious after surgical anaesthsia?

I saw things that made my soul weep.

This post is already too long so there shall be a part 2.

Stay tuned.

Big gen, small gen

2011-04-06T02:23:00.005-04:00

HI!!! *waves*

Yes i have been absent for a hot minute.

Reason: I am currently in Nigeria. (Yes that is enough reason)

In my father's house we happen to have what is lauded as one of (if not) the fastest internet service providers, however it is........abeg lemme not talk before the internet vex.

Apart from the not so great internet i have been rather busy.

So let's random shall we?

And by random i mean totally, absolutely random.

Nigeria is HOT!!!! Jisos! I yanked out my weave after 3 days. From now on whenever i see pictures of babes with waist length weaves i shall clap for them or give them a trophy i swear it's nuts. I should also talk about how i see people walking the streets wearing tights/pantyhose while i'm sitting in my car with the a/c on and still dying of heat stroke. I must be the one who is not well as this is quite common.

Lagos life is hectic. Like really. Sufferhead on a kentro level. Half the time the thought of traffic is enough to keep me at home but then when NEPA/PHCN does what they do best staying at home is not such a pleasant option either. Re: My title, the average family here NEEDS a big generator i.e the ones powered by diesel for *special occassions* you know like when you need to iron and have the fridge or air conditioner on at the same time and then a small generator that runs on fuel for when you just need the lights and fans and televisions to be on. Yes it's that bad.

Lagos/Nigeria is expensive. Sheeesh! Everytin is too cost! Me being the cheapskate that i am i'm finding tins very hard i no go lie you.

There is plenty suffering in this country. Please do not go by the glitzy pictures that we drool over online. People are really really suffering.

People are so rude. For no reason too. Maybe it's the sufferhead that makes people snappy, i don't get it. Oh and customer service? What's that? However, once you look like you can tip well, you know drop cash for people, you shall see a serious turn around. I know the difference in service i get when i park my little Cerato and when i park my mother's SUV.

The healthcare system is SHIT! This one is a post by itself. I'll just say always pray for good health oh and money so that you never have to see a Federal/State hospital in Nigeria.

Everytime i go out/get home and park i almost want to do a mini-thanksgiving because the roads are crazy, those stories you hear about stationary vehicles parked on the road, you'd be surprised how common it is, plus the roads themselves are not so great to start with. People lose their lives for the simplest reasons on our roads.

The epidemic of the single married man. It. Is. So. Real.

This past weekend i met a male (i refuse to qualify him as a human beign) who i happen to know is married as in his wife was delivered of a baby about a week ago. Infact her bbm dp is a picture of herself, her husband and their newborn son. Yet the fool was in the club grinding on some babe. I shall say no more.

Oh and i've never been anywhere in the world where people drink champagne like......water.

Seriously. And these drinks are not cheap o. There's money in this country, where it is from, me i don't know but i need to tap into the source. Oh another thing is the smoking. I almost started crying at some point this past weekend because i was mourning the loss of pinkness of my lungs.

It is a miracle that we do not have more deaths from lung cancer because EVERYBODY smokes.

Again, i repeat. EVERYBODY SMOKES. If you go out in a group of 10, 6 people are smoking therefore the remaining 4 people are secondary smokers by inhalation. Me i think this is a health hazard, plus a hazard to my pocket as the hair that cost me almost 9k is now smelling ciga ciga and i'm not ready to change it!

Did i mention that my best friend got married? I should have said that first. That's the main reason i'm home as i was the honorable Chief Bridesmaid. Please from now on, whenever you see the title CBM, focus more on the MAID part infact it should always be capitalized because that is the koko of the position. Me i thought i was just going to wear a pretty dress and dance. NOT!

I've started calculating how many of my friends i need to beat to the altar so as not to serve in this position again.

However i am very happy for my darling and her husband. Both very wonderful people and i wish them all the best.

Of course you already know that i must have gotten lots of speeches about marriage. I have been advised to find myself a serious boyfriend (holla if you're reading ;) ). I have been prayed for as well and counselled on what qualities to look out for. All of this only makes me countdown to my departure date abeg.

I am not ready to move back home. Feel free to call me unpatriotic, me ma sef i accept but i'll tell you though it's a lot harder to be optimistic/hopeful about Nigeria when you are actually within the shores of this country. NOTHING WORKS. As in think of the simplest thing that you take for granted for example checking in for a local flight at the domestic wing of the Nnamdi Azikiwe airport, where they had to write down your flight details with pen and paper. Seriously, where do they do that at? They write down your flight details then use marker to tag your luggage O___o. Then you trek onto the tarmac and sit on a plane that the a/c is not turned on until the flight takes off. This is after your flight has already been delayed for 2-3hours???

There's also the fact that if i move back now i shall be expected to live in my father's house till i marry (which doesn't seem to be any soon) and i just kent! (can't)

Having to explain my wherabouts and my coming and going and arguing with my mother about the colors of nail polish that are appropriate for me to wear is not what i need at this stage in my life. I'll pass.

All in all, it's great to be home. Spending time with my family, gisting and catching up, meeting some of my virtual friends, eating suya for dinner or boli for lunch when i feel like it (yes, be very jealous) Awesome stuff i tell you.

I haven't exhausted all the observations i've made on this trip but i'll let you take these in first, i'm sure you probably don't know where to start commenting from, so i'll stop here plus there's a few other things i need to take care of while there's light, So........

I love you for reading.

K'odi ozo.

Domesti-gini?

2011-03-11T22:36:00.003-04:00

Earlier in the day i'd seen some debate on twitter sparked by this article on BellaNaija, but i just got around to reading it for myself.

I'm sure the author had a possibly good point he was trying to make but it got lost somewhere between when he started the article and when he divided up roles/chores/duties into male and female.

What is a male house chore vs a female house chore and who defines these things anyway?

Maybe i don't know much, but i'll just use me (my family) as an example of the much i know.

I'm the first born of the house, i have a younger sister, the boys were born long after so for the most part of my childhood i had just my sister, my aunties and the occassional househelp.

Mummy and daddy went to work, so there wasn't any boy/man/male to do anything for us. Between myself and my sister, we did any and EVERYthing that had to be done.

Daddy's car is dirty? Oya you bring bucket, fetch water, me i'll bring omo. Don't forget to check the oil and brake fluid level o!

We are about to leave for Sunday service and the car refuses to start? Everybody (mummy inclusive) get down and push the car.

Mummy said she wants to cook egusi when she comes back from work? Better start peeling that melon.

The laundry basket is full? Better go and wash your clothes.

You have school tomorrow? Go and iron your school uniform.

The flourescent bulb has died? Climb the chair, i'll hold it for you so you don't fall, check the "stopper".

Now when my brothers arrived, our housegirl duty escalated. I would cook, clean, change diapers (and get pee'ed on in the process). I will confess that my brothers definitely had it much easier for them because they had omodos* (i.e my sister and I) and they were almost spoilt sef, but by the time we had to go off to uni, no be pesin show my brothers how to enter kitchen, now i only hear good things about their indomie and fried egg creations.

If you jam me in the kitchen cooking my ass off, you can be sure you'll find the boys taking turns doing the dishes. Which is how i believe a family unit works, everybody pulls their weight.

Now the author of the article started with a story of his sister not operating the generator properly (after he had given her directions OVER THE PHONE) which could have lead to poisoning/death. Now correct me if i am wrong, but is it not safe to assume that when operating unfamiliar equipment, one is likely to make a mistake, whether male, female, hemaphrodite, cat or goat. Maybe his point was that she should have known how to operate the generator before that occassion, but she had never had any reason to operate the generator because like he stated it was the gatemans job to do so. Therefore it has absolutely nothing to do with gender roles.

The other example he gave was of the belle whose beauty faded in the eyes of the men when they realised she couldn't cook. So a bunch of young, able-bodied people, both male and female, living together in a house are hungry, but the females are the ones EXPECTED to cook, because you know if any of the guys had entered the kitchen, his dick would have grown smaller.

This story is just funny to me.

As individuals, we all have things that we do not like to do, things we do better at, things we absolutely loathe to do. I for one like to cook. I'm the type to randomly feed people, but i HATE ironing. I promise you my clothes look the same post-ironing as they looked fresh out of the washer/dryer. On several occassions, my father has had to ask me to take of my clothes after dressing up for him to re-iron it for me and as far as i know it did not cause ~~his dick to shrink~~ me to respect him any less.

Also there are various different reasons why one may not know how to do something for instance maybe they were never taught, so the fact that a females "worth" is reduced by lack of cooking skills is just........ i don't have the words.

Reminds me of that useless "Ekaette" song where the man blamed his indiscretions with the househelp on the fact that she cooked better than his wife.

As part of his closing arguement, the author stated: I understand that in a home there are certain domestic chores that are assigned to the man, changing light bulbs, putting on the generator etc, but it wouldn’t hurt for women to learn those roles as well as the normal female defined roles.

I (and many females i know) can change a light bulb, turn on the generator and change the gas cylinder. I once had a very old motor car which had issues upon issues. Many a time the car died on my abruptly in the middle of the road and best believe i'd be the one tinkering under the hood checking if the problem was with the battery head or if the fan belt had cut this time.

I (WE) do these things for ourselves, you know as part of living, as able bodied human beings, not as training to be "useful" to a man in the future or even to be deemed "worthy" by some fellow.

Like i said, the author may have had a point, but he lost it in one-sidedness.

Maybe somewhere in that article he should have added that it would be a nice idea for the man to also learn how to make a bottle of formula to feed the baby or even learn to change diapers while his wife is pounding yam for him in the kitchen.

Orisirisi.

But hey, it's just me and my opinion ey?

You should definitely peep the article and form yours and even discuss in the comments.

Have a happy, peaceful, refreshing weekend. I know i will.

Bisous.

200 +2

2011-02-26T22:46:00.002-04:00

Somehow i managed to not announce my 200th post.

I mean i knew it was 2 posts ago, but i kinda just didn't have any "special" post scheduled, but i should have at least had balloons and fireworks and such.

So yea, i've posted 200 (+2) blogposts on this here blog.

Yay me!

And yay(all 5 or 7 of ) you for reading them.

It's a Saturday night i'm done painting my nails and i'm thinking really hard about what to wear to church tomorrow but i'm too lazy to try on any outfits. Reminds me of when i was younger.

Growing up in my house, we had to pick out our church outfits, have them approved by my mother by an early enough time on Saturday night (before the gen went off). Faliure to do this would earn you.......I really don't know to be honest. I never tried myself, i'd have my clothes picked out well before tie sef. The fear of my mother is the beginning of wisdom.

Gosh i miss that woman.

I just read one of the Real love stories over on Myne's blog and it made me so happy.

I'm having an "I love LOVE" sappy kind of day which was triggered by the movie i took myself to see tonight "No Strings Attached"

Contrary to popular belief, i am VERY sappy by nature. Yes a lot of times i come off as jaded/cynical but..........well, there's a tiny little part of me that's still hopeful.

Anyway what i want to say is i really love what Myne is doing over at her blog, getting real people to share their different love stories.

It's just so refreshing, unlike all the other stories about men who don't act right that abound everywhere on the internets and in real life. It does give me hope. So thank you to Myne and everybody that has shared. Oh like Sting said methinks i need to start going to church more, e be like almost everybody na dia dem find beta husband. *chuckle*

I'm too lazy to link, but you should definitely check out Myne Whitman's blog for the series, just ask google, my darling google will show you the way.

Seeing as i don't have a real life and i spend ~~ALL~~ a lot of time on the interwebs, i come across quite some interesting characters.

The latest one is this guy i'll be linking his video below.

He's a fine mix of basic, honest, chauvnistic, slightly ignorant, American male.

This particular one made me laugh so hard. I feel bad for the men. They can't do anything these days without a #nohomo or #pause.

You should also check out some of his other videos, if you ~~are jobless like me~~ have some spare time on your hands :)

So that's about it.

Hope you have/had a great weekend.

Bisous.

SOMETIMES...

2011-02-15T20:00:00.002-04:00

.....MEN ARE SO SIMPLE!

Notice how i started with SOMETIMES because quite frankly most of the time i believe men are a very confused lot but that's a story for another day.

The other day i was having a discussion with my friend about how her now boyfriend has suddenly stopped coming up with thoughtful, romantic surprises. I knew when he was "chasing" her, how he used to pull some international stunts, and not for any special occasion even, he'd send a card just because it's Tuesday, now she's girlfriend, well.......

Anyway it reminded me of a personal "situation" (Yea Mizchif always has one situation or the other)

So almost 3 yrs ago, when i newly joined the gym here, i met this guy (yea, you knew it had to be a man story, i never disappoint). We shall call him Al.

Al was one of those gym regulars who took it upon himself to "help" me with my workout.

I thought he was cute, he thought i was hot so uhhhmmm.....yea we did have sex eventually.

It wasn't a relationship, it wasn't a friendship even, it was a very "wham, bam, thank you ma'm" type of situation. Not because he's a jerk but because i wanted it that way. We had absolutely NOTHING in common, it was a purely physical attraction, we are two consenting adults, so hey.

Anyhow he did something to piss me off one time, i doubt that he even knows he pissed me off, but he knew something was wrong because i locked up. When i say i locked up i mean, serious LOCKING UP as in i refused to have sex with him anymore, i'd still say hi to him when we see, but that was it. I wasn't even mad at him anymore, i just didn't want to continue. He got the message, he got tired of begging, he left me alone.

Fast foward to this year, i get back and now he's sooooooo nice.

I mean it's been barely 4 weeks and we've had more contact than in the entire time i've known him. He sends random text messages during the day, "Hey, how are you" , "what are you up to"

He's even given me a ride on 2 different occassions.

He's also come to visit once or twice and on these occassions i was either doing my nails or i answered him at the door and shoo'ed him away nicely.

So tonight i went to the gym from work so i had my laptop and gym bag, didn't want to walk home and i couldn't reach any cab, so i decided to try my luck and call him. Fully bearing in mind that he lives nowhere near to my house or the gym.

However, he answered, said i should give him a few minutes, showed up in time, even obliged when i asked to stop at the grocery store. O______0

I promise you two years ago if i'd called him to pick me up from somewhere, he'd have pretended not to hear me.

Anyway we get to the front of my house and he notices there's no one else home (because all the lights are off) and kindly offers to help me with my bags. Of course i decline, i'm not trying to let him get in the house then start thinking of how to get rid of him. So i balance my bags nicely and sashay into the house :)

See what i mean by simple. Hope and the belief in Okafor's law is causing nwoke mmadu to "show working" (you know how when you had math homework and you had to show working in the margin as proof that you actually know what you're doing and didn't just copy the answer)

Am i enjoying this though?

What do you think ;-)

*adjusts Aba made halo*

O soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me?

2011-02-14T18:51:00.002-04:00

O soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me
With your musket fife and drum?
O no sweet maid I cannot marry you
For I have no coat to put on.

So up she went to her grandfather’s chest
And she got him a coat of the very, very best,
She got him a coat of the very, very best,
And the soldier put it on.

O soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me
With your musket fife and drum?
O no sweet maid I cannot marry you,
For I have no hat to put on.

So up she went to her grandfather’s chest
And she got him a hat of the very, very best,
She got him a hat of the very, very best,
And the soldier put it on.

O soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me
With your musket fife and drum?
O no sweet maid I cannot marry you
For I have no gloves to put on.

So up she went to her grandfather’s chest
And she got him a pair of the very, very best,
She got him a pair of the very, very best
And the soldier put them on.

O soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me
With your musket fife and drum?
O no sweet maid I cannot marry you
For I have no boots to put on.

So up she went to her grandfather’s chest
And she got him a pair of the very, very best,
She got him a pair of the very, very best,
And the soldier put them on.

O soldier, soldier, won’t you marry me
With your musket fife and drum?
O no sweet maid I cannot marry you
For I have for I have a wife of my own.

Notice how he let her kit him up before he said the real reason why he couldn't marry her?

Coat, hat, glove, boots the guy just arrange new wardrobe for hinsef come carry leg waka.

And the moral of the story is.....

No be today.

2011-02-01T20:47:00.003-04:00

I watched a child die today.

It was rather undramatic really.

The little boy had been admitted earlier today with complaints of fever, and joint pain. Sickle cell crisis. Not long after he was noticed to be unresponsive by the nurse. By the time i got to his bedside, the pediatrician was already setting up an AMBU bag*.

First thing i noticed was that the child had the most jaundiced/anemic yellow-green eyes i had ever seen. He already had one IV line up and the nurse was setting up another one on his other arm, while the Pediatrician was intubating him. In all of this activity, the child barely even flinched. That was when i knew something was very wrong.

After intubation, we took turns "bagging" him, but he was still unresponsive.

His carotid and brachial pulses were undetectable.

We kept bagging.

His pupils were fixed and dilated.

We still kept bagging.

He at least had a thready femoral pulse.

His SpO2 was in the 40's (normal 90-100)

But it's hard to admit defeat. Defeat here being the loss of a childs life.

The pediatrician tried to manually help his heart pump blood by squeezing his rib cage.

Didn't help any.

Truth is we knew he was gone.

I didn't even cry.

Ok i had a few moments, like when his grandmother started praying by his bedside,

Or when his mum broke down on seeing him, even before he was pronounced dead.

But how'd i look standing there in my white coat and stethoscope around my neck, tearing up and making the family even more apprehensive.

I guess what made it easier is the fact that he didn't look like he was suffering.

He had several tubes running everywhere, but he wasn't in pain.

I managed to slink away before the official pronouncement to the family.

I'm not sure i'd have held up so good.

He was 9/10yrs old

Official T.O.D was 2:48 PM

But he was gone long before.

Rest peacefully little one.

I have two beautiful little cousins about the same age with sickle cell disease.

*Bagging- mechanical ventilation i.e helping a patient to breathe by manually pumping air in a bag, through a mask worn by the patient.

Island riddims Rhythms

2011-01-31T22:16:00.004-04:00

Here I am o.

So i ran back to my little village island before the cold use my eye to see somtin!

I missed this place for true.

Yes it's a village but it has become home of sorts.

A place where i can walk practically everywhere.

Where there's a view of the water from almost every spot.

Where it takes 3hours or less to drive round the whole island.

Where i know everyone from the person bagging my groceries to the attendant at the gas station because they've come through the hospital at least one time.

Oh and of course where you are bound to run into the ex and his new girlfriend 2 days after you arrive.

That's not what this post is about though.

This is a music sharing post :)

Let me not lie, when i first moved here i was hella confuzzled by their music.

Now when you hear "island" I'm sure Sean Paul comes to mind.

Right. Not the case.

Sean Paul and Wayne Wonder are more dancehall.

Real island music is more Soca.

For the first few months after i arrived, i'd only hit the dance floor when i heard songs like "Bounce Along" because i could not make sense of the rest of the soca played by the DJs, oh and i should also mention that DJs here talk half the time. HALF the time, seriously.

When you listen to Sean paul you probably think patois is sexy and exotic....right.

I have learnt that what you hear from Sean Paul is foneh! Of the highest degree.

I've been here almost 3yrs and i still have a hard time understanding people speak.

Plus different islands have different accents, pretty much the way a Yoruba accent sounds different from a Hausa accent. So far i think i like the Bajan accent best.

Now Soca music is supposed to be a fusion of SOul + CAlypso.

I've come to appreciate this genre of music and admire how the island people have exported their brand successfully.

However most of their lyrics are not for the prudish at heart. Sometimes one should be thankful for their accents and their use of slang because if you heard/understood half the things they are singing.......

Enough of the plenty talk. lemme get to sharing.

I'll start with this one because it's local to my village :)

The video quality isn't great, but you see all that water? That's the view i have everyday (#hatemenow) Plus it's a mellow tune.

Now this one i was priviledged to watch live when i was in Barbados last year.

Very energetic young man. He actually had a girl come on stage to dance with him and somewhere along the dance the girls dress went missing. Very serious.

Some of you think Fally Ipupa can whine? You haven't seen Stabby do it. The song doesn't have an actual video though.

TIME TO PALANCE!!!!!! WHOOT! You do not know Palance? You do not???

lol.

This song is HUGE. staright out of Trini, and you know Trini has THE carnival, which i shall be missing again this year as a result of ~~brokeassness~~ circumstances beyond my control.

Anyway, when this song comes on at a party? THE END.

This song is definitely a part of the beginning of my soca love. Peter Ram. Love it.

Tarrus Riley, Oldie but a goodie.

Mr Vegas is one of the popular ones. Now this is an example of when the music is 'tamed' to spare the rest of the world. The title reads "Hot Wuk" but it really is "Hot Fuck"

Oh and don't let the Dj play this song when i'm in the spirit.

I don't think Mr Kartel needs any introduction. You should see dem island girls doing the bicycle though. jaw dropping stuff.

More kartel. Gritty stuff. I always have this very naughty smile when this song comes on.

There's so much amazing soca music that i've come to love in the past 3yrs or so, but i'll stop here.

I do hope you manage to listen to some of them.

Enjoy.

2011-01-22T20:50:00.002-04:00

Ah, i have been a bad blogger.

Forgive me.

It's been a little crazy.

I'm back to my little village island.

YAY!!!!!!!

Sun, sand and endless sea.

I'm sooo glad i don't have to deal with those negative temperatures anymore.

In not so yay news.

Got my result back this week.

Like i said, not yay news.

Did i pass? Yes.

Just not as well as i had hoped.

I do feel like i worked too hard for the score i got

But it is what it is.

At least i do not have to retake the exam,

I will take my blessings where i see them.

Thanks for all the love and support as always.

Still settling in so i do not have full internet access as yet.

Will resume posting as soon as that is sorted.

Kiss kiss.

In retrospect

2010-12-31T20:42:00.002-04:00

Just a few hours left in 2010.

Time to usher in 2011.

I'm more than thankful.

I have mixed feelings with regards to 2010.

It was a proper roller coaster of a year.

At the beginning of the year, i really didn't know what to expect.

I know i didn't mention it on here, but this time last year,

My dad was "retired" from his job.

I cried my eyes out when i heard.

I can't even lie i was hella worried.

Worried about a possible change in lifestyle.

I'm vain i know.

As God would have it, here we are at the end of 2011,

and i can say for certain that i need not have worried one bit.

God is/was always in control.

If anything 2010 was a more financially tasking year if that's possible.

(I'm a very expensive child, you know med school and tins)

But i never had any want or need, that wasn't met, not even for one day.

I started 2010 giddy in love.

Yes giddy is the word.

I can tell you that's not the case right now.

2010 was supposed to be my official year of graduation,

Didn't happen.

I decided to take time of to study and take an exam instead

(fingers still crossed for that one, prayers still in session)

I can tell you that i am happy i did it though.

2010 was the year of my computer friends (ala mama SSD).

Between Blogger, twitter, tumblr, crackberry, verastic radio, my internet addiction only worsened.

I made even more computer friends, and even got to meet some of them.

My computer friends have been a great source of blessing and support this year.

I already admitted to having more of an e-life than a real life

But there's still my real life friends who put up with me when i decided to leave my computer for a second.

I even made new friends this year. (if you know me you know this is a miracle)

The family head count as at Dec 31st 2009 is still the same right now.

Every member of my family is alive and well.

No major illness or hospitalization.

This i am particularly grateful for.

I mean this past year in Nigeria was a scary one.

From very unnecessary freak accidents to kidnappings to bomb blasts.

However God somehow mercifully has kept us all.

One of the reasons i look foward to 2011,

End of med school!!!!

You shall now be addressing me as Dr.Mizchif

Oh and my darling before before BUMIGHT will also be officially known as Dr Bumight come March 2011.

Though that would only mean the beginning of the slavery called residency.

But at least my poor father would be free of Medical school tuition.

The man don try. Plus i don too old to be collecting all d money wey dey de house.

This year i was reminded on the daily how loved and blesses i am.

I have the best support system, with my sister as my biggest cheerleader,

If that girl could she'd follow me around with pom poms and a happy cheer all the time.

My mum and dad and their 3am phone calls.

My baby brothers and their once in a blue moon phone calls.

Yes, i am loved.

I could go on and on and on.

Synopsis

I laughed, i cried, i loved, i lost

2010 was a good year.

2011 will be even better.

Thank you for being a part of my 2010.

You're welcome to be a part of 2011 too

Kiss kiss.

My Baby, it's "complicated"

2010-12-25T12:52:00.009-04:00

Current most played song in my iTunes library.
You know when a song so completely resonantes with a situation you've lived?
Yea, this one.

His name was "My baby"
Well that's what i called him and his friends constantly teased him/us with it.
Greatest love of my life to date.

I first noticed him at the beginning of the first semester of my 2nd year in Uni.
He had that "quiet bad boy swag" about him, though of course my friends did not think so. Not like i cared.
Quick bridge to the last tweminar debate about whether or not the girl should make the first move.
I made the first, second, third and even last move for this one.
Started small, little things like taking his seat if he even stepped out of class for a miunte, just so he'd come back and ask me to excuse him, which he never did by the way.
Oh then i had to get proactive. His best friend was asking my roommate out, so i got her to get his phone number for me.
Then i started calling him over that christmas break.
We finally got to meet when school resumed.
But we were still just friends, as much as i pined for more.
Brother was acting slow on the uptake, but in that getting to know period, i learnt so much about him, that he reads even more than i do, he could hold conversations on anything from sports to Greek mythology to World War II stories. If you know me, you know this was an even bigger turn-on, so i only fell harder.

Mind you i was barely 19yrs old at the time.

The first time he kissed me, i was so excited i doubt that i got any sleep that night. My friends teased me and my shiny eyed happiness.
We became an "item"
He was my boyfriend, i was his girlfriend.
But it seemed like i was still doing the chasing.
I wanted nothing more than to spend ALL my time with him.
I really did mean that, ALL my time.I never got tired of being around him.
BUT......
You're not easy to love
You're not easy to love, no-oh

Why do you make it hard to love you-
While I ha---te it?

There'd be times when he would just withdraw and i wouldn't hear from him for a while. Then my life would fall apart. Literally.
I'd stay up all night wondering what i did to chase him away.
Then just like that he'd show up, and expect everything to continue as usual.
And i'd try to talk about it, but he wouldn't want to.
But hey, i did already say i was crazy about him, so i'd go back to life as usual.

At that point in my life, my happiest times were with him.
My lowest times were without him.

Sometimes I get you, Sometimes I don’t understand.
Sometimes I love you, Sometimes it's you I can't stand.
Sometimes I wanna hug you, Sometimes I wanna push you away.
Most times I wanna kiss you, Other times put you and every minute you start switching up
And you say things like, ‘ You don't give a fuck!'
Then I say, ‘I'm through with you.' Take my heart from you. And you come running after me, and, baby, I'm back with you.

My friends started to hate him because they couldn't believe what was happening to their friend. I mean, i was the 'hard' wordly wise one, reduced to a slobbering ball of tears because of one boy.

And because i was the "initiator" of this "US", every time we had problems, i couldn't help but wonder if maybe he wasn't just in the relationship because i had come on to him. You know that thing they say about not spitting out sugar that is put in your mouth. This is one of the reasons why Mizchif shall never do any active chasing in the future.

I couldn't get myself to stop loving him though or even hate him.
It didn't matter what other people said.
It did get to a point however, when i got tired of the roller coaster that was us.
A point where i was starting to think maybe there was something wrong with me.
A point when i decided i couldn't continue letting one human have so much power over my happiness or unhappiness.
A point where i'd nearly exhausted my lifetime supply of tears.

I'mma stick around just a little while longer.
Just to make sure, that you’re really sure, you like sleeping alone

I stuck around for quite a while yet.

Cause if you really wanna be alone, I
Would throw my hands up cause baby I tried

After 2+ years of the off and on, i threw my hands up.

I had tried.

There was no conversation.

I didn't stop loving him, ~~still do, always will~~

I did however realise that he had his own issues,

And he needed to work through them himself

That there was nothing wrong with me.

And i could be happy by myself.

Pray

2010-12-18T18:56:00.003-04:00

So it's about 6.00pm here on Saturday the 18th of Dec.

T-2 days
Well today is half gone.
And i'm not really supposed to study the day before the big day, so technically i have just 1 (ONE) day left.

There aren't really any words to express how i feel right now.
Scaredterrifiedanxiousnervoustiredhopeful.
But see that word just got underlined because it doesn't exist.

I'm doing my best to not freak myself out.
I guess i can say i'm doing alright as i haven't developed any symptoms of V.fib or even a panic attack.

Anyway, it really is out of my hands somewhat at this point.
It is in God's hands.
So this is where you come in.

PRAY.

P.R.A.Y

Really, you don't even have to comment at the end of this post.
A prayer will definitely work better and be much more appreciated.
Seriously, don't just comment and say you know something generic like "It is well"
Instead, close your eyes (or if you open your eyes to pray, you know anyhow you communicate with your God) and say a word on my behalf.
Hey if you see this early enough you might even want to, you know, maybe, like,
write this down as a prayer request and submit in church tomorrow.
Oh and also feel free to fast if you can sef, see nothing is too small (or big)
Book mass, novena, night vigil, anything, SOMETHING!!!!

I need all the prayers i can get, really.

Thank you.

Rambles

2010-11-30T02:07:00.003-04:00

So.....Thanksgiving.......

What i did this past weekend has me afraid to check my account balance for real.
As in you do not want to know. #BlackFriday.

I did eat though, even though my aunt decided to serve chicken instead of the traditional turkey and there was no dessert as in no pie, no cornbread, nada #itsarecession.

Those who didn't invite me over for Thanksgiving but put up pictures of their feast well done o.

Got to "skype" with my parents for the first time too.
It was an "EWOOOOOO TEKINOLOGY" moment for them. (who remembers that old 1st bank advertisement wit the Ibo man standing in the middle of the banking hall with computers all around him. No lie, i know say you old pass me ;)
It was cute though, their excitement. You don't want to know how long it took my father to learn how to send text messages and i think he was finally forced to learn only because all of us kids left the house at some point.
I miss them. My family i mean.
Remind me of this statement next time i go home to visit and they start getting on my nerves after the 1st week.

So it's down to crunch crunch time.
Am i scared? ......VERY.
I'm not afraid that i'd fail to be honest, i feel pretty sure that i can't fail but then i need a GREAT score, now that's the part i don't feel sure about.

Plus i feel like a hypocrite starting to pray more often/feverently now, seeing as i haven't exactly being doing that very much in recent months.

So when you remember, do put in a word for me.

I should sleep now.

R 18

2010-11-22T01:15:00.004-04:00

Ah, The end of an easy weekend spent with good people and a bottle of goose.
Sometimes i get a study break, and i do write stuff like this.

i like how you started out a little nervous even.
We'd spent the past hour making idle chatter and doing nothing in particular,
me sitting on the bed, you sitting in the chair,
and quite frankly i was waiting for you to announce your departure any minute and i'd have let you out and gone to sleep in my little bed as usual.

So when you asked me to "come here", it was unexpected.
And those few seconds i sat idly in your lap were almost a little awkward,
but as soon as you leaned foward and i leaned in to meet you, the awkwardness kinda evaporated.

I like how you started off gently and first and then the aggression that followed when you sensed my responsiveness. i was thoroughly enjoying The way you were not afraid to assault my mouth with yours. And even though i knew you smoked, i was glad i couldn't taste it in the kiss.

At first i wasn't sure how far i wanted to go, or what exactly you wanted as well, but i could already feel myself dripping and although i was kinda hesitant at first when your hand grazed my left breast, and you removed your hand and just went on kissing me, a part of me secretly yearned to feel your tongue against my nipple, it had been soooo long since i'd felt that, so i was happy when your hand came wandering back and when you pulled my dress off my shoulder and lowered your head to my chest, the electricity you created when your tongue touched my nipple caused me to squirm even more and grind against your crotch harder.

Then we moved from the chair to my bed, still grinding crotches, and i lied at first when you, panting with pent-up passion, asked if i had a condom. I actually liked that you didn't have one on you, for one it meant that you didn't leave your house with a plan to fuck me, and also it meant that whatever happened next was all up to me.
Of course i had a condom, i had several.
And i eventually admitted as much, but i still wasn't sure i was ready to go "all the way" but you didn't try to convince me otherwise, and we just carried on making out.
Eventually your wandering hands found their way into my panties and you made a remark about how wet i was, soon my panties came off and you put your fingers to work, causing me mini convulsions and uncontrolled spasms, it took all i had not to scream because we wouldn't want to wake my housemates but darn that felt good, you do know how to use your fingers.
And while you were busy working your magic fingers, my hands found their way to your pants and i freed your 'member' with some help from you and by this time the torture was getting unbearable for you and the magic you were working with your fingers had me convinced that i wanted more so when you asked about the condom again i got up to fetch it from my suitcase where it had been hiding in disuse.
I still wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but i was past thinking and when you slipped inside me from behind, nothing else mattered.

I'm rusty. I need more practice.
Writting practice i mean.

Have a wonderful week.
And happy Thanksgiving to my stateside readers :)

Hi, bye

2010-10-29T23:13:00.004-04:00

Saw this video 2 days ago and it cracked me up seriously.
There's been a bunch of them all over the internet recently talking about relationships and such. You should check them out.

I was on a date yesterday....immediate, automatic friend zone candidate.
Maybe not even friend zone, but just more chummy acquaintance than anything.
I can't even tell you what exactly he did to 'earn' that because i do not know myself.

I feel broken with regards to the whole relationship/man matter.
But that's not what this post is about.

Expect dryness from this blog from now till the end of the year.
I have a HUGE exam coming up soon.
I have no choice but to pass this exam very well.
I need to put in a lot of work.
I took a simulated exam yesterday that was not so good.
I am trying not to feel like an olodo.
I do have my work cut out for me.

So i need to hit the books....and hit them hard.
You know, real life things...
My e-life is going to be kinda sorta dead for a while.
No facebook, less twitter, less tumblr, less blogger....
Dunno if and how i will survive that though, but a girlz gorra do wat a girlz gorra do.
I'll be calling on the prayer warriors when the time comes oh, i need all the extra intercession on my behalf.

So, be well beautiful people...yea all 5 of you that still read this boring blog.

Knowing myself though i'll probably pop up sooner than you think :)

Thursday 9pm-10pm = Grey's Anatomy. Do not disturb.

2010-10-14T22:19:00.005-04:00

Hello,

It is I,

Again.

So a few weeks ago, i met this guy, (of course it had to involve man for me to blog abi)

As i was n'ekwu.

Met guy a few weeks ago, exchanged numbers, he calls me in the wee hours of the next morning, i'm talking 5 am. talmbout how he was so enthralled by me and what not.

General cheesy boy likes girl type of talk. Me i thought it was cute.

Fast foward to yesterday, last time i'd heard from him was that first time he called, so in a moment of boredom, i dialed his number. He did not answer his phone and i forgot about it till, this pm. I'm on the elliptical @ the gym and my phone rings. Of course it's him, returning my missed call of YESTERDAY.

He wants us to meet-up, i say i have a date with Grey's, he proposes to come over and watch Grey's with me. I accept.

So i get home, shower and settle down in front of the tv.

He calls, i open the door, let him in and settle back in front of the tv, ready to focus on my Grey's.

Na so the boy start to dey talk, me i wasn't paying attention and i said he should wait till the commercials come on, then i can talk. Clearly he thought i was joking because he kept interupting. I wasn't having it.

He couldn't believe i was really focused on Grey's and not paying him any mind.

But in all fairness, i told him what i planned to do tonight, he was the one who suggested tatching, so i didn't feel bad at all.

As i'm still trying to watch Dr Bailey take out the worms from the patient, this guy starts getting all rubbing and touching and such, i was just beating him away and still watching tv (yes, it's that serious)

After a few tries, he realises that he's not going to be successful at distracting me from Grey's, so he says he wants to go home. Which was really an excuse for him to get me to stand up and give him a hug, plus more room for groping. I shooed him off efficiently and he started protesting saying i was "kicking him out". Like i care.

Oh of course you know he asked for a goodnight kiss, but i swiftly locked the buglary proof, then he started talking about how he'd hoped he was coming over for an "Igbo treat" (yea, he really said that) how Igbo girls are too stiff, so i won't even give him a kiss and we wonder why 'they' have given up on us.

Me i laughed and said shey you will go and meet the women that will kiss you na, abi?

Konkobility.

Funny thing is i'm more amused that disgusted really.

So now my question is, is it really supposed to be that simple and straight to the point.

I call you, you come over and you expect us to start playing tonsil hockey?

Really?

That's it?

And people wonder why i am single.

This is the reason.

Mind you this is not me trying to be a santa (prude) at least if you've read this blog long enough you know i'm down with the occassional roll in the hay, but it's supposed to be a process na abi? Please correct me if i'm wrong oh.

Infact maybe at one time in my life i may have even indulged him, but pesin dey old pass some kain tins abeg.

Now this reminds me of one baba agbaya that said something about celibate girls being retarded by expecting not to have sex in a relationship.

So this is me asking,

How soon is too soon?

Recently i heard of the 90 day rule and even the #testdrivetheory.

How soon is too soon to start bumping uglies?

Is it compulsory for EVERY guy to 'try' himself?

Is it impossible to just like someone without the physicality aspect?

Is it impossible to excercise some form of self-control?

Is there something wrong with playing getting-to-know-you?

Is 2 phone calls enough?

I've probably done a post asking similar questions in the past, but since it has come up again, please indulge me in the comments.

I await your responses.

Usually i don't do this but.......

2010-10-01T23:50:00.004-04:00

It's been a while since i felt such a strong urge to poke my finger in several peoples eyes, but i felt it today.

So today marked the 50th anniversary of Nigerias Independence and as usual the pseudo and quasi intellectuals on twitter decided to go in and off in every different direction with regards to the terrible state of the nation.

Some even saying there is/was nothing to celebrate and wearing your national colours today and today only makes you pretentious *insert mikifreaking blank stare here*.

*climbs soapbox, grabs mic decked in my green iRep Naija t-shirt and white shorts (cold bite me today sha)*

Now before i continue, trust and believe that i am not the most patriotic Nigerian out there.

You might meet me on the sidewalk trying to exchange my passport for any other nationality on a day after i have suffered embarrassment at the airport, but that is besides the point for now.

Is there a lot that is not right in MY country Nigeria? YES

Is there even more that is wrong with MY country Nigeria? YES ke!

But is it still MY country? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! ~~at least until i find one american to marry for papers~~

Yes there is a lot that can be better with Nigeria.

We don't have regular things like electricity or good roads and good leadership.

Yes, these things are almost non-existent.

But what have you done?

Yes, YOU?

As a Nigerian, what have you done for your country?

Ok, what do you plan to do?

And when i say plan i mean what are you working on doing?

Oh it is easy to wake up every day and heap blame and curses on the government.

And compare ourselves to every other country and how they are all doing better.

But how are you helping?

It is also perfectly alright to just choose to exist, and not do anything. Keep going about your daily life as is.

But remember that thing they say about being part of the problem if you are not part of the solution.

My biggest problem however is with those who just spew all sorts of negative comments, and start arguments that are not based on any sort of fact. Like some of these people have not even opened a newspaper or sat in front of the tv long enough to catch the news for the past decade, yet they feel the need to start baseless arguements.

I have a message for those people

I was out tonight and i met two young men. Nigerians, born in America but with so much passion about their country, our country. Talking about efforts they are making to make a difference in their own little way. People like them give me hope. My discussions with them gladened my heart, because i'd honestly been very furious earlier today even though i managed to stay away from all the noise making on le twirra.

So, does Nigeria have a long way to go? YES
Are we going to get there by constant bitching and moaning? NO
Change is needed, but this change will have to come from the bottom up.

Nigeria is 50.
I do not ask you to celebrate.
I choose to celebrate the resilience of the Nigerian people.
Nigeria is you and me.
Happy Golden Jubilee Nigeria.
*drops mic, steps off soapbox*

Now time for me to allow this mojito + tequila + corona to take effect.
What are you looking at me like that for? Please radical/reformist/preacher type people drink too and it was happy hour, i couldn't help myself ;)

The availably unavailable one and the crazy ex

2010-09-18T22:16:00.004-04:00

You know how they always say single ~~girls~~ people know nothing about relatioships?
Well join me as i proceed to pontificate on what i know nothing about.

Let's goooooooooooooooooooooooo!

So at some point in your dating history you have probably met that guy or gal you're really feeling, BUT.......they are not exactly single.
You know, that one that when asked the "Are you in a relationship?" question they start to twitch and mumble a stupid answer that begins with "Technically......"
They then go on to tell you how they've been seeing this person for 'x' amount of time, and how it just doesn't seem to be working out. In some cases they might even go ahead to tell you the 5397 different ways in which they are incompatible with said partner:
SHE doesn't know how to cook his fav dish,
HE doesn't know her favourite color,
HIS dog doesn't like her,
HER cat doesn't like him,

SHE wears too much make up,
HE has a strong Igbo accent,
SHE can't touch her toes,
HE doesn't lay the pumpington right,
SHE snores,
HE farts......

BUT they haven't officially broken up.

Now because you are 'feeling' this guy or gal you might just regard it as "unfortunate" that there happens to be someone else in the picture. So you guys hit it off. Things seem to be going on well. There's the occassional awkward moment when the unfortunate partner calls and your boo-bookins has to put you on hold to take the call or maybe even step out of the room. However boobookins comes back and apologises and all is well with your world again. You are convinced that soon enough that 'unfortunate' other person would ~~move to another planet/fall down and die~~ soon be out of the picture.

Right.

So far i've been speaking from a general point of view, but i'll just continue from here on as a female (I am one afterall right)

I have been in situations in the past where i may have "borrowed" someones boyfriend here or there, and if you've followed this blog long enough you'd remember the story about dude. I use the word "borrowed" here to indicate lack of ownership. And i'm a usually a very good girl. I'm almost always sure to return things ~~people~~ i borrow (ok except that one last time) It only shows good courtesy afterall.
I mean, if you borrow ~~somebody~~ something and do not return it, where will you find righteous anger when someone else decides to borrow same ~~person~~ thing?

If he had a girlfriend when you guys started talking, but somehow she is now ~~you pushed her~~ off the radar, what are the chances that he isn't talking to someone else while you are now "dating" him?
Pattern recognition.
The best prediction of future behaviour is past behaviour/actions.
Do not delude yourself that you shall be the exception.
No boo, you are the rule.
Remember all those 5397 reasons he gave you why he shouldn't have been with that "unfortunate" other girl? Well guess who he's giving 8762 reasons why he ~~thinks you might commit suicide~~ pities you too much to actually break up with you.

Another type you may have come across is the one who describes all his ex-girlfriends as crazy. The one that always seems to be stalked by exes from hell. The one with a history of having his car keyed and his windows smashed.
The one that his exes have formed an association to bring about his downfall.

One word- RUN!

Yes, i know a lot of guys are quick to dub us girls crazy when we react ~~violently~~ to some of their foolish antics but we (us girls) know we are perfectly right thinking human beings ~~who will pop one in your ass if you act sideways~~ Right?
Granted there are some crazy girls out there, but what are the chances that one single man has only crazy bitches in his dating history? Now If i were a mathematician i'd have come up with some random figures and calculated the probablility but alas i am not.
Chances are he has acted like a real jerk-off several times and happened to have been with babes who did not hesitate to treat his fuck-up.
But if these crazy exeas are truly crazy, then there is still a problem, in his selection process at least, so still.....RUN. ~~except you are crazy as well~~

Notice how in the first scenario i didn't mention anything about what to do or what not to do. Who am i to say that this lying coward might not be the reprieve you've been looking for in your boring life? Who am i to say he will not give you reason to ~~make sure the neighbours know his name~~ smile?
In my opinion ~~personal experience~~, guys with girlfriends make the best friends with benefits/cut-buddies/flings. As long as you know what exactly it is you want out of the situation and are ready to 'return' him to his unfortunate girlfriend everytime.
The danger in this situation is when you choose to hold on to borrowed goods, feeling like a G because you managed to (free) edge out the 'unfortunate' girlfriend. Chances are he was in that relationship that he supposedly didn't want to be in for so long because he is a low-life cowardly jerk who was too chicken to end the relationship fairly and let the unfortunate girlfriend get on with her life. What you have done successfully in this case is given that unfortunate girl her life/freedom back ~~and possibly created another bitter woman in the process~~ and guess who took her place?.......

No babe, you did not win the prize. Now wipe that stupid smirk off your face.

Ada Owerri

2010-09-08T21:12:00.002-04:00

Yep. That's me.

I'm an Ada and i'm from Owerri.

"Oh, you look like a Yoruba girl. You don't look Igbo at all."

I get this comment all the time, even as recently as last week,

For someone who doesn't "look" Igbo, people are usually surprised by how "Igbo" i am.

So when you meet me and i'm speaking supri supri oyibo with you, do not be surprised if my phone rings and you hear me breaking it down in conc Owerri.

Notice how i didn't say conc Igbo.

The Owerri dialect is different.

If you've heard it, you'd understand what i mean.

According to some people, it's quite comedic and not so easy to understand so i've had to dial it down a notch even when speaking with other Igbo people.

Sometimes i wonder how i'm so Igbo as well, but i'll attribute it to growing up with plenty Igbo househelps plus my mums sisters who always spent time in our house.

Funny thing though my siblings barely understand the language and have only recently started stringing Igbo sentences together.

What sparked this Owerri "pride" moment?

You can blame/thank Miss_Jayla who directed me to this song today.

iLove Igbo music.

iLove Flavour.

Win-Win

Listening to the song had me all nostalgic so i decided to search for more Igbo music.

Oriental Brothers International.

This song reminds me of my Dad and my Grandma.

My dad because he played their songs all the time and my grandma because i would ask her to explain the bits i couldn't understand.
I could sing and dance to this song and others like it by the time i was 8.

The dance, we call it egwu ukwu, literally translated to mean "waist dance"

Now that i think about it, this is probably what has influenced my "bombom dancing style" (this is me using the phrase dancing style very loosely mind you)

Par example, at those childrens parties we all attended when we were younger, the only factor required for Mizchif to win a dancing competition would be Shina Peters music. Come Michael jackson time i'd quietly leave the dancefloor for my sister.

Listening to all these Oriental Brothers music and Sir Warrior songs made me want to be home cooking ofe owerri for my daddy. I can smell the stockfish already.

For those who don't know ofe owerri is supposedly THE SOUP. You know the one that you cook if you want him to marry you, the one that you cook and he will always come home. Ehen, that one.

So all my future suitors on here, take note. Oh i'm sure y'all must've already heard that other thing about Owerri people. You know that thing about the girls and their expensive bride price. Right, so take note as well.

(Ada + Dokinta si Obodo oyibo =$ X, 000,000,000,000,000)

iMiss home.

iMiss my family.

iMiss speaking Owerri or even any form of igbo.

iWant to go home.

Today has been one of those days when things have not exactly gone my way.

And i am tempted to be all "woe is me"

But i'm alive and well, so i do give thanks and praise.

Oh and i had a good birthday. Thank God.

Thank you for all the birthday comments, tweets, emails.

Oh and thank YOU who never comments for my gift card.

To those of you who haven't sent my gifts yet..... I.. C... U...

Happy Birthday

2010-08-30T23:27:00.003-04:00

T-30 mins.

In 30 minutes, it will be my birthday.

So the year in retrospect....

This time last year, i ushered in my birthday in the club (yea i'm bad like that)

Hey, i was in London, it was bank holiday weekend, it's what they do.

This year, im sitting in my room, in the house by myself, freshly showered, hair washed and waiting for my nails to dry.

In the time in between...

The past year has been good. Yea, i really can't complain.

I've had a few unfortunate incidents, but are definitely overshadowed by the wonderful things that have happened to me.

God has been good to me.

I can't say i've been at my Christ-like best. to be honest my Bible is almost a fixture in my room, but that hasn't stopped God from blessing me.

In no particular order, i am thankful for;

Life and health. The most serious illness i've had this year is a cold that lasted 2weeks. I haven't gotten any bad news from home. God has kept every member of my family alive and in good health. I really couldn't ask for more.

Journey mercies: I can't really count how many times i've had to get on a plane this past year. But i'm still here. My family just got back from their summer vacation. Alive and safe.

Friends: Both virtual and real life friends. Those i've never met, those i've met only once, those i've known for 15years and counting. Some of my days were just that much easier to get through because of their (your) love.

Peace: I really do feel peaceful. No unnecessary drama/complications. Well there's the odd person i still wish devil will punish, but yea i'm all peaceful, you know handing out candy and releasing doves type of peaceful.

I'm thankful for so many things and for you too reading this.

Thank you.

I wish myself many things in this new year of my life, but i'll leave that out and let you do it in the comments.

I have nothing planned for today.

I have class.

Few to zero friends in the area.

But you know that didn't stop me from ordering a cake for myself ;-)

There is no birthday without cake.

Oh and i'm still expecting my emails and my gifts too, don't think i have forgotten oh, consult the post before this one and be adviced accordingly.

T-10mins

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!

Show how much you care UPDATED

2010-08-23T22:46:00.012-04:00

It's that special time of year again.

What time of year you ask?

Christmas, Easter, Valentine.....

Let me help you.

It's MY BIRTHDAY in a week!

YAY!!!!!!!!

I can just feel your excitement.

Anyway i know you love me and you're just waiting for an

opportunity to show how much you care, so i decided to make it easi

er for you this year.

THE LIST

This year i decided to make a list of you know things i'd like for my birthday.

I usually do this fantasy list thing every year but this time around, i'm doing something a little different. You know so you don't have to think too hard about what i'd like.

You don't even have to leave the front of your computer.

You can just click, ~~enter card details~~ smile and move on.

So consider this a wishlist/loose guide :)

First: A Camera. I'm tired of whipping out my old peeling Nokia N95 when i want to take a picture. See i had a camera but while i was home last year my sisters camera started having isssues, so i gave her mine (i'm such an angel you see) now i am camera-less.

Next: A kindle. It's no secret that i love reading and i love books, but with the all the moving around i've been doing in the past few years, i don't have the luxury of collecting or keeping books anymore, that's where a kindle comes in see. I'll have access to almost any book i want, like how cool is that?

After that, well......if you know me, you know i have a shoe problem. Plus during my last move, i gave out some of my babies, so....the following would certainly put a smile on my face.

JelenehrlerHeidtman

cognac

Me likey this one too

This one is more of love than like. I don't usually do covered shoes, but this i heard my name out loud when i saw the detail on this one

Is it just me or do these shoes look alike?

Oh and i would love a pair of boots. The weather is changing already summer is on it's way out :(

My shoe size is an American size 9 :-D

I want a new pair of sunglasses as well, but i can't find a link.

Don't be afraid to click on the links, even if you decide not to bless me, you may just enjoy the online window shopping experience.

Oh and consider this a loose guide really just an idea of what Mizchif would like.

Feel free to use your imagination but still send my gift.

I usually request gift cards, but somebody told me she liked the birthday gift shopping experience, so.......

I don't have any plans for my birthday.

Oh the date is the 31st of August.

I have class on that day.

I don't have many friends in the area.

I do know i must have cake though.

Even if i have to walk into "hello cupcake" and get 2 dozen cupcakes.

I'm too broke to get myself a gift, but i want a piercing.

Or a tattoo.

But i haven't put enough thought into what i'd like to have tattooed, so i might put that off.

I don't even know what piercing i want.

Scratch that, i know i want the industrial/bar ear piercing, but i also know my mum might kill herself if she sees her Ada with a bar in her ear.

I also want birthday letters.

Well, birthday emails will do.

mss.sassy@gmail.com

UPDATE!!!

So it was nicely pointed out to me that the ALDO US website was being long and not accepting billing addresses outside the US.

Solution? Amazon.com

The last two links are from amazon.com

An Amazon gift card will do just nicely.

Oh and gift cards from Marshalls or TJMaxx as well. #justsuggesting

And oh, shipping address/ship to ? Email me :-D

I love you too.

.......show them that you care,

.......show how much you care,

.......Maltina, because you really care ;)

Tonight

2010-08-21T02:40:00.004-04:00

I've been writting this post in my head all night so i decided i might as well type ~~spit~~ it out before i sleep.

I just got into my house 2mins ago, the time is now 2.41am, i am a tad inebriated so this post is likely to go off in several different tangents.

So i met a guy. STOP.

Before you get all happy and tin, i should tell you now that there is no need.

So about 2 weeks ago i met this guy at a networking event, and we exchanged numbers.

Not really, more like he asked for my number and i gave it to him.

This guy shall hereforthwith be reffered to as Nwoke.

So Nwoke has been trying to get together since the day after we met, but i have flaked out on him on one or two occassions and the one time i actually agreed to meet up, something came up and he couldn't make it.

Today i innocently sent him a text.

Ok, maybe my subconcious was a little bored, as in it's a friday and such where's da parry at.

So maybe my subconcious convinced me to text him.

But me, the real me only sent that text innocently to inform him that i had changed my number.

So he replies with a barrage of texts suggesting we meet up @ some bar/lounge later.

I accept. Though i'd really have preffered to go to the movies, but anywhoos.

So i arrive at the bar a little early, he's not yet there, i buy me a drank (yes, drank, i'm in America namean) You know independent woman, single ladies, i don't need no man to buy me a drink. Yea, so i am sipping my mojito and waiting on Nwoke to arrive.

He arrives, we make small talk, i'm fiddling with my blackberry a lot, he doesn't like it.

I try to pay more attention to him but......

Maybe i'm not trying too hard.

Did i tell you what he does?

Ok one of the things he does (he does a whole bunch of things)

He is a sex therapist/psychologist. Interesting right?

Well, maybe if i liked him i'd agree with you.

I.Do.Not.Like.Him.

Part of our conversation involved stuff about seventh heaven and sex coma *blank stare*

Yes, Mizchif is a very physical somebody, as much as i like to deny it, i do have a type.

He wasn't ticking many boxes unfortunately.

A friend of mine would actually call him "Ojota"

So we sit at the bar, he buys me another drink, we chat for a bit then he suggests moving to somewhere else. I really didn't plan to go clubbing or any such thing and i was dressed pretty casual, but he convinced me that it didn't matter so we start bar hoping.

He tried to get me to dance with him at this one bar and i refused vehemently.

Instead i was eyeing this hunky dory dude that was sitting next to me.

But i behaved myself and pretended like i didn't notice there was a foine ass dude sitting next to me.

Nwoke didn't seem too happy that i didn't want to dance with him, but i guess he had figured that there was really nothing he could do. He said i seemed naive and innocent.

Oh did i mention he's one of those guys that forms touchy feely.

You know the one. Rubbing his hands over my exposed ~~thigh~~ knee and trying to forget his arm around my waist for too long.

I was definitely not feeling all that.

So at this other bar, i actually agreed to get on the dancefloor.

Bia le Nwoke m, trying to be all holding and such. Trying to turn me around so i'd be backing that thang up on him. At first i'd just stop dancing or moving too much then at one point i had to tell him "Dude, please you are not allowing me to dance. Thank you" (pardonnez-moi, i am know for my honesty, plus i had some ethanol in me. Over honest was worrying me at that point)

Of course you know this must not have made poor Nwoke happy so he went off by himself to sulk for a while.

See don't get me wrong, i'm not a kill joy or the girl that doesn't like to dance @ the club. if i was with some guy i was feeling, trust and believe that i'd be that girl on the dancefloor whining and grinding and doing the most but such was not my lot tonight.

It did not help that while Nwoke was away i spied some guys seriously trying to hola @ ya gurrlll but you know i had to behave myself and ignore them.

Did i have fun.

YES!

There was a DJ playing music.

There were people dancing.

I was not lying in bed in my jammies, Of course i had fun.

Oh plus you should've seen me swagging and douging it out on the dancefloor.

2 months ago i was one of those people seriously shaking my head @ Pretty boy swag, but you should've seen me swagging on the dancefloor. shame.

But i had to draw the line @ Waka Flocka's Hard in the the paint though, like seriously, Hard in the paint??? #PAUSE

Americans and their retarded music.

As for Mr Nwoke, i guess he must've had fun as well, because at some point he had to go off and dance by himself when he realised i wasn't about to be cooperative.

I had my dose of people watching though.

I liked the mix of people i saw, drssed up people, not so dressed up people.

HOT babes, not so hot babes.

Skinny bitches.

Akpati nwanyi clans.

Agadi nwoke, agadi nwanyi.

Very fine mix of people i tell you.

At the end of the night i was rather irritated by Nwoke.

I was already thinking of all the different ways i'd avoid him from now going foward.

I guess he was also disappointed because he dropped me off just now and didn't even wait for me to cross the road to reach my gate much less wait for me to get into the house before he drove off.

#FAIL

He will definitely not be hearing from me.

Infact i should delete his number now now, but then i wouldn't recongnize it if and when he calls, so i'll just leave it for now.

I need a fine SINGLE man in my life.

If you know any, do not hesitate to let me know.

Ya hurrddd!

These american slangs irk me. So i am trying to annoy you with them as well.

Hmmmmm...this post seemed so much more interesting and funny when i was writting it in my head. Ah well......

The time is now 3.20am

I do hope you have a great weekend.

What did you say?

Yea, i love you too.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

What If......

2010-08-11T21:52:00.002-04:00

What if I had Sabrina the Teenage witch like powers?

I know i'm not a teenager, but...

What if?

Ok maybe even Harry Potter type powers.

I mean a wand would be cool and all but it would be kind of obvious.

Seriously, when i get mad, i feel really frustrated when there's nothing i can do about it.

But if i had 'special' powers.........

Think about it.

So someone really, really upsets you.

You wouldn't consider i dunno maybe casting a hex on the person such that said someone would constantly smell like a dumpster on a sunny day after it has rained the night before.

Imagine the stench. No one would talk to said someone, said someone would have to stay home and be miserable. Aha!

Or picture an office scenario.

The boss has given a very urgent assignment and the file is lying on this annoying persons desk. Say you bury the file under a pile of other stuff and said person never gets to work on it, and eventually gets a query for that slip up.

Or you could curse someone with terrible acne/pimples on a very important day of someones life.

I mean something very annoying and mischevious, but not life threatning.

You know like make someones house/car keys disappear.

I could honestly go on and on.

Don't give me that look, you mean you've NEVER thought about 'mistakenly' pushing someone down the stairs?

NEVER?

I guess i'm special then.

Like i said earlier i get really frustrated when i'm upset and i can't do anything about it.

I have never been one of those people who keep quiet about things that offend them.

I will usually state my case clearly and give you a chance to redeem yourself or make amends/apologise. In the event that that does not happen........all these thoughts start to fester and God be your helper if they fester long enough because i will do something about them. Yes i have to share my pain.

When i was younger, my main life annoyer was my kid sister.

But after several incidents of her home work going missing after she had taken time to do it, or her dirty underwear miraculously appearing in her school bag, she learnt not to be so annoying.

I wonder why people say "God punish you"

God is kind and merciful and gracious.

Devil punish you instead.

American psycho

2010-08-05T23:45:00.003-04:00

I am tired and i need to sleep but i had to share this story first.

So this morning i set out of my house bright and early and i'm making my way to the station, with my earphones firmly in place, blocking out the world.

Out of the corner of my eye, i notice this male creature, standing by himself on the side of the road trying to hola. Trust me, i keep a very straight face and make like i didn't hear nothing and keep it moving. Unfortunately i had to stop at the intersection for the light to change before i could cross. Na im the boy follow me cross road oh.

Now he intentionally bumps into me and goes "I know you heard me trying to talk to you"

Me i reply "Good morning" without breaking stride and earphones still in place.

Now he starts talking and i'm really not listening, like i said i still have my earphones in my ear.

So he's talking and i'm like "Don't you have somewhere you have to be this morning?"

This guy didn't stop following me.

He asked if i live in the area, i answered negative (before nko) he said i was lying.

He asked He asks for my name, i refused to tell him. He asks for my number i refuse to give it to him.

He offers me $20 for my number, i laugh and continue walking.

He then asks where i am from. I mistakenly answered that one.

Next thing this guy gets on his knees in front of me and goes "OMG! I've never HAD a Nigerian before. What do you want? Tell me i'll give it to you"

He then pulls out a bundle of $20 bills from his pocket. (In my mind i go==== drug dealer)

I laughed at this point oh, like this chikpuru (midget) expects me to follow him because he pulled out a bundle of bills. See my life.

All this is going on by 7.30am in the morning oh.

I just told him i was in a hurry and he needed to stop delaying me.

Na im the guy switch gears.

"I give good dick too"

"I'll eat your pussy too"

Me: still walking "I AM NOT INTERESTED"

Next thing he starts saying something about me being mean, i'm so mean bla, bla, bla, then i vaguely hear something about 'ass' and next thing i know this guy grabs my ass.

PAUSE.

SHOCK.

HORROR.

You know how when you think about something like this happening to you, like even now as you are reading this, you're probably thinking "lai, lai, i for slap the boy, what arrant nonsense"

Me i was just shocked. And by that time i was convinced he wasn't well.

I turned around and said very sternly "Don't do that again"

You know he did it again right?

Thankfully by this time the road had cleared a bit and there were no on oncoming vehicles so i ran, yes fled to the other side of the road and didn't look back.

I am laughing now as i'm typing this oh, but i was properly vexed this morning.

Like what did i do to deserve such harrassment so early in the day ehn?

I should sleep soon lest i have to keep my eyelids open with toothpicks tomorrow morning.

Sheep in the big city

2010-07-28T19:53:00.002-04:00

Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

*echo, echo*

Feels like i haven't been here in ages.

So i made the big move.

Hence the title of this post.

That's how i felt the first few days and a few moments everyday still.

I guess in my heart i'm just a village girl.

I am well.

I know you didn't ask but i'll tell you anyway :)

I am grateful and thankful to God for so much.

My mum always says that if our entire bodies were made of tongues, it still won't be enough to give God thanks.

God has been good to me.

In so many ways, much more than i deserve.

The whole process leading up to this move was hectic and stressful and i almost gave up a lot of times. But God worked everything out.

I arrived thinking i had family to stay with, but that didn't quite work out.

I almost started to despair while looking for accomodation.

Of course if you know me, you know that by this time i had a great bawling session.

But miraculously i found a place i can afford in this expensive city.

I am getting settled in, though my room is still a mess.

I am getting accustomed to the Metro system, though i still have to consult my map every time i enter the station.

I kinda miss my village life, being able to walk to everywhere i needed to go.

Or call someone for a ride.

Or even randomly hitch a ride.

Oh lemme tell you a funny story.

I missed a package delivery (shoes), so i had to find the UPS office to pick it up.

I called them, googled the address and directions.

Arrived there on a bus. Picked up my package.

Stood at the bustop awaiting a bus to the Metro station.

The bus drove past with the notice "NOT IN SERVICE"

I just figured there must be another one on the way.

So i waited. Mind you this was past 8pm, but it was still bright so i wasn't too worried.

No other bus showed up.

I called the Metro help number.

They said no other buses were plying that route at that time.

MO GBE!

I just started walking. Till i reached a gas station.

I asked a man there filling up his tank if there was a bus stop or metro close by.

He consulted his GPS and said NO.

I stood there laughing at myself oh.

See how i was about to get lost because of shoes.

The kind gentleman then offered to drop me off.

He actually drove me almost all the way home.

God bless his heart.

But then what if he had turned out to be some axe murderer?

See what i mean by God has been wonderful to me.

I have since been warned to desist from such acts though.

Classes have started.

You might be seeing less of me on here.

This post will not be complete without special mention to my darling sweetheart BUMIGHT. She has been most instrumental in my settling in process.

I would give her a hug and a kiss but i don't want her to start getting any ideas :p

I am blessed with an amazing family, and amazing friends too.

I am grateful for all of them. And for you too reading this.

Final Friday

2010-07-11T14:21:00.003-04:00

So you want to go out on a friday night and get ~~drunk~~ crunk while spending as little money as possible?

Here's how.

1) Choose a VERY HOT outfit, in this here case, a mini dress and a killer pair of heels

2) Sashay into the casino with 3 of your girls (who all happen to be wearing bad ass tiny dresses as well)

3) Choose one of the $1 slot machines and sit in front of it looking busy till one of the casino staff /servers comes over to ask what you'd like to drink. (Hope that the person serving you is a guy because you might get a bitter woman who refuses to get u an expensive drink because ~~she is jealous~~ she claims that people playing $1 slots are not supposed to order expensive cocktails. #truestory)

4) Pray that one of those men who almost gave themselves torticollis while watching you strut in comes over and offers to buy you a drink.

5) Pimp one of your friends for free drinks

6) Thank God for the one drink you were able to get for playing only $2 in total at the slots.

You can only form activity in front of a slot machine for so long when you are really not playing (seeing as you are a broke ass) so you will eventually have to leave the casino for a more bubbling venue.

At this point you may have to buy yourself one drink at least just to stay in the spirit and subsequently ask any guy that comes to chat you up to buy you a drink or nothing for him.

This could have one of two results. He might either:

-walk away and not disturb you anymore #truestory

-buy you a drink and keep pestering your life #truestory

But then you might just say thank you for your drink and run to the dancefloor #truestory (it's not my fault the Dj had to start playing OMG-Usher at that very moment)

Also you might meet some guy who you've been talking with or used to talk to and he might come over and say hello (seeing as you're looking very hot and alladat) and then proceed to continue buying your drinks for the rest of the night.

At this point you are really in the spirit and dancing the night away till the Dj decided to pack up and then that guy you used to talk to suggests that since the night is still young you guys can continue the party over at his house.

You guys arrive at his house which happens to be a villa with a beautiful view and you sit in the balcony doing shots of coffee flavoured tequila while talking about anything and everything and nothing. The mosquitoes make an appearance and you move into the house and sit seperately on the couch while watching tv. Before you know it you guys may not be sitting or be so seperate anymore. You may actually be lying down now with him next to you on the rather narrow couch.

And being a nice person you let him put his arm around you more for balance and support because you don't want him falling off the couch now.

So maybe his head is almost resting on your chest and he's telling you how mice you smell, though you know you probably smell of alcohol and ciggarettes mixed with perfume and mint gum. By this time you're really enjoying the feeling of his arms around you and you're considering an act of encouragement like...i dunno ....maybe a kiss, but you stop yourself, not because you're not sure, but because it is that special time when Aunt Flo has come to visit.

So you silently curse mother nature in your mind for her unwelcome monthly gift which has successfully ruined the perfect opportunity to end a one year drought.

So you just lie there with his arms still around you and maybe your thigh over his and he just holds you and makes small talk while you are a little frustrated that all this spooning will not lead to forking.

But still it feels kinda romantic just lying there watching the sunrise from his living room which has the most beautiful view of the golf course and sea beyond.

Finally it is morning and you have to go home.

Then you spend the rest of the day thinking what could have been.

And hope that he calls.

Packing is almost over. Gave out almost half of my belongings but at least i made quite a number of people happy so it's all good.

Flight is on Tuesday.

I'm going to miss being an Island gyal.

Oh and it's just a few hours left to vote in Category B of the Nigerian Blog Awards. If you've not voted, make sure you get your votes in.

It's been 32hrs. He hasn't called.

VOTE!!!! and other things

2010-07-06T21:26:00.003-04:00

OMG!!!!!

Have you heard?

Have you heard that voting in the Group B category of the Nigerian Bloggers Awards has opened?

Well if you haven't heard at least now you have.

You can thank me later, but before you do that run along now and do your civic duty!

VOTE!!!

Yes people VOTE!

I should say thank you again for being nominated at all.

Although to be honest i'm not so sure what my chances are seeing as i'm nominated alongside some popular jingo bloggers, but YOU can make all the difference.

So finish what you started and go VOTE here.

My life is a tad bit hectic these days.

Packing is a bitch!

Yes i said it.

I'm already giving out almost half of my possesions and what i have left will take at least 5 23kg bags.

My luggage allowance is 2.TWO freaking 23kg bags.

An extra bag will cost me $100.

I can't even shout right now.

This life i am living needs a financer.

Read well, financer not fiance oh.

Blame my father he refers to fiance as financer. He says that's what men become when they accept the position of fiance.

I'm accepting sugar daddy applications. Seriously.

I'll stop now.

I really should do better by this blog.

Yes i love you.

And i know you love me too.

Faith, hope and love people.

Mma mma diri gi Chineke

2010-06-28T21:06:00.004-04:00

Hello again to all my friends,

I'm glad you came to play,

Our fun and learning never ends,

Here's what been happening in my life lately :D

Dunno where that popped up from, but i just had to type it.

This past week has been a 'special' one for me.

I have been to 3 countries, through 4 airports, via 9 flights and even got rejected (read as deported) from one of the countries sef.

Peachy huh.

Remember not too long ago when i was lamenting about being very tired?

I applied for a programme in the United States of A sometime ago.

From the time i applied for this programme, different glitches just seemed to spring out of nowhere. I had wire transfer issues, documents i needed were delayed for the most mundane reasons, i was calling and faxing and scanning and emailing documents up and down and all over the place. I had too many balls up in the air at once and they didn't seem to be falling into the right places.

Now to even attend this programme, i needed to apply for a visa to the States and this is where the bulk of the problem lay. I'd heard of at least 6 people who had been denied visas before me, so i was apprehensive about my odds. My mother would tell me that i had nothing to worry about as long as i pray and tell God what i want and just let Him do his thing.

I didn't stop worrying.

This matter had me so strung up that i was starting to lose sleep.

I would get into bed at night, turn off all the lights and lie still for hours but before sleep would come and then the slightest sound would wake me.

Truth is i'm not the most prayerful somebody.

Yes you will find me in church every Sunday.

But i tend to think more rational than rely on blind faith.

In my rational mind, i had a plan that i believed would work, but God clearly had other plans.

My visa interview was scheduled for Thursday morning, i was rejected by immigration at the airport on Wednesday night, returned home thursday morning, effectively missing that appointment. Mind you my country of residence does not have a US consulate. And the programme i applied for is due to begin in about 3 weeks or so.

A part of me was in great despair, i was starting to think maybe all the hinderances were a sign that i should quit.

But i'm not really a quitter.

I decided to press on.

Fortunately by divine grace i found an interview (at the consulate that had denied all those people before me,) for the next day so i had to get on another plane, that same evening.

By this time i'd probably not slept in 3 days. I was running on air and Holy Spirit (oh and that fruit punch and pringles they served on the plane)

Long story short, i went for the interview (at this consulate that i was avoiding originally) and my visa was granted.

I can not possibly express how thankful i am.

That all the stress i went through was not in vain.

I learnt a huge lesson from this though.

A friend of mine reminded me of this bible passage: Mark 11vs24.

Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.

Just ask, then believe.

I don't know a lot of bible quotations, though i just promised my mum i'd work on that.

As humans, we will make our plans and be disappointed when things don't fall into place.

That night when i was rejected at the immigration desk, i was sad, i couldn't even cry, i was shaking visibly, i was a little confused but God clearly had other plans.

I did pray and i know that's what cleared my head and calmed me down, prevented me from falling apart but instead thinking of something else to try. In the end, it all worked out and i am thankful.

I am thankful also for my friends who are more excited for me than i am for myself, for the one who prayed for me and with me. for my mummy, her support and prayers alone were enough i'm sure.

Now i have to start packing, no i actually started the wardrobe decongestion before i went for the interview sef. I am not looking foward to the rest of the packing.

Yesterday was my Daddy's birthday.

I called (flashed) him. He called me back and i sang for him (croaky voice and all)

Oh and for the first time my dad told me his age. lol.

Thank God for life and good health for the Man, we need him around for much longer.

Oh! So i see was was nominated in 2 categories in Category B!!! *insert bb dancing emoticon*

I know i suggested like 5 or 7, but 2 will do.

I was a little surprised by the last one though "TMI Blogger" lol.

I didn't realize y'all felt that way about me.

I really am honoured.

Thank you.

See the title of this post? That's the song i've been singing since Saturday.

I just remembered this line from my school prayer -"All things work together for good to those that love thee"

Group B Nominations

2010-06-19T02:32:00.003-04:00

Yes, i don come again. I know.

This is what happens when you go to sleep @ 10pm.

You wake up @ mid-night and flip through all the Late night shows from Jay Leno to Jimmy Fallon to Jimmy Kimmel and catch Ron Artest and those fugly purple and yellow pants he was wearing.

It is now 2.34am and i am very, very WIDE AWAKE!

I have read and commented on plenty blogs tonite.

Clap for me.

I also decided to perform my civic duty by nominating in the Nigerian Blog Awards.

To be honest there are some categories i have me stumped, par example Best New Blogger.

I can think of only one and again to be honest i don't like that one i can think of so please share what new blogs you know of.

I already reminded you in my last post to nominate ME, and i shall not be greedy like some people i know (read as @bumight, @verastic) I do not qualify for ALL the categories so i do not expect to be nominated in ALL 30 of them. Just, ONLY 5 will do.

Also just incase you were wondering what categories to nominate me for :)

I shall now make things simpler for you.

Best Moniker: Mizchif. Seriously, how ingeniously genius is that?

Friendliest Blogger: Ah ah, this one is simple don't i always you know reach out and tins. lol. Ok this one might be a little of a stretch.

Grandma Blogger: I have had this blog up and running for almost 3yrs, (Yay me!) with regular updates. However i probably wont even nominate myself in this category because i can think of worthier candidates but that shouldn't stop you from nominating me :D

Hottest/ Sexiest Blogger: Hmmmmm.....i am tempted to put up a picture to convince you but if you've followed this blog long enough, you know what it is baybay ;)

Most Positive Blogger: You know always cheering you on, blah blah blah, stuff like that postive energy, hold hands and sing kumbaya type things, no arguements and what not. Yep, that's me.

Online to Offline Blogger: You know you are just dying to meet me. And those who already have just love me :)

Reality Blogger: Don't i bore you guys with every mundane detail of my boring life? Don't i share all the grossness my eyes see everyday with you? How is that for reality.

So with these few points of mine i hope i have been able to convince you (and not confuse you) to nominate me.

Don't procastinate, Nominate.

Peace and Love.

Have a great weekend people.

P.S: The time is now 2.56am. Dear Sleep, please do not be a stranger, i do have to go running by 6.00am and there's this little matter of the verastic show i have to be awake for. Thanks. M.

#Asseenonfb and Group B nominations

2010-06-16T20:28:00.003-04:00

I'm too lazy to blog. Too many things on my plate......actually one thing, but one heavy thing that is equal to many things.

So today i've decided to share some quotes off a friends FB.

Just some interesting status updates from Mr.JJL. These updates have made me laugh and some have actually made me think while still laughing.

Enjoy and discuss please.

As a girl, when you have fights with your man, listen more to the friend who takes his side over yours in the argument. Be careful of the ones who call him "bastard" with you. They're the ones more likely to call him "honey" in the future.

The world sees nudity in public and goes "Eeew". The world sees nudity in private and goes: "Oooh". And that's fine as long as the world doesn't think it's fooling me.

A black girl spends thousands trying to look like white. Fake long hair, multi-colored contact lens, skin lightening creams, fake eyelashes and even simulates a fake BLUSH on her face but then gets pissed when a black man goes for the actual white girl. Why? He only bought the product you were advertising.

I kinda like how the end of the world is not going to be some cliche atomic bomb killing billions but rather an oil spill that will cause the slow decline and decay of all life form. Thanks BP for helping us keep this script very original.

A man is ready to settle down when he doesn't care to find out how many men she's been with. A woman is ready to settle down when she goes ahead and tells him anyway.

"All that glitters is not gold". That's what humans usually say when they don't have gold. I usually reply: "Leave it... I like it like that". :)

Observe 2 women. The one who says "fuck off" to every man until she meets Mr. Right. And the one that eats dinner from every man until she meets Mr. Right. Sadly, by this time she's repulsively overweight. LESSON: You can't eat cake and cake and cake and have man. Ole ni e.

Believe it or not, there are probably a dozen people in your life crushing over you and won't say a thing until they hear you're engaged. I'm not saying change your relationship status to get laid. I'm just saying.

P.S Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh! How did i ALMOST forget.

I hope you all know that Group B nominations are now open.

Well if you didn't know, now you know oh!

Why am i reminding you?

Well, because i'm a nice girl.....yea right.

I am reminding so that you do not forget to go and nominate me oh!

I must be a nominee by force by force.

Yes this is shameless campaigning.

I know i saw at least 2 categories i should be nominated for.

One of them being HOTTEST blogger. Yes ke! I shall toot my horn.

So yes lovely readers, commenters and lurkers alike, get to nominating.

Nominate your favourite bloggers and side-eye to people who do not nominate or participate in any form and then start to weep and wail when the results are announced.

Special shoutout to the organizers of the awards.

I imagine that it must be tasking.

That will be all for now.

Pray for me people.

And the question is ...........

2010-06-12T03:15:00.001-04:00

WHY???

TIRED

2010-06-07T20:10:00.004-04:00

I'm tired, i really am.

I'm too pretty for all this stress.

Why can't i be 6 again?

Sending emails, filling out forms, printing, scanning, making follow up calls, while constantly hoping and praying for something that is in no way a surety.

I am tired, honestly.

I just want to cry and sleep and let everything magically make itself right.

I want my mummy to huff and puff and make everything better.

I'm tired of being an adult, really. I've been an adult for too long, i don't want again.

I want to be in my father's house, eating his food and not worrying about any stupid bills or being responsible for anything other than keeping my room tidy.

I miss having friends to lament to. Friends who would laugh at me when i start crying just so i'd stop.

I'm tired of feeling like a poor child and worrying about getting broke.

I.AM.TIRED

I really am.

But they say big girls don't cry.....i guess i'm not such a big girl.

But i will put on my big girl panties and suck it up.

Because no matter how much i wish i could become a baby again, it's not going to happen.

There really isn't any magic.

Mummy and daddy are thousand of miles away and can only do so much.

No need to worry them.

I can't pause life.

Life like a show, must go on.

And i will be fine.....eventually.

And if this doesn't work out, maybe it just wasn't meant to.

But i will still be alright.

YES. That much i know to be true.

My kids

2010-05-29T19:35:00.002-04:00

I recently signed up for a volunteer program to teach children to read.

I honestly wasn't sure what it was about, but lately i've been looking for ways to do my own little good deeds, plus i've never done volunteer work before.

So i got a mini-training session, where i was introduced to this computer software with different books and tools to assess the children's reading level and progress.

I arrived at the school on Thursday during their break time.

It's been a while since i set foot in a primary school, so you can imagine that i was a little overwhelmed by all the screaming little children running and jumping everywhere. (A friend of mine says children are like drunk little people)

I was introduced to my two kids. Kevontee and Delroy. Two adorable little boys, ok one is more adorable than the other, but sha. They are about 7years old.

Kevontee is the very bright talkative one and as soon as i introduced myself he started telling me all about his hate for lizards and why he has to run away from them. Very sweet boy.

Delroy is the more quiet one. With the shortest attention span. More like a non-existent attention span actually.

So i start by asking them to pick out a book, any book at all that they can read and guess what.....my children can NOT read. AT ALL. As in they are have alphabet recognition problems still, so reading is still ways away.

That did get me thinking a little. Of me at age 7. I'm pretty sure i was in primary 2-3 reading enid blytons and devouring bedtime stories. So what is the difference between me then and these kids now?

Well for starters the school is in one of the more notorious neighbourhoods here, high crime rate and what not. And it is highly likely that most of the kids attending school in the area are being brought up by single mums who are probably not even as old as i am and are most likely not able to afford a lot of comforts. (notice that i'm making a lot of assumptions and generalisations here)

So with the non-existent family structure and a parent who is probably working 3 jobs to make ends meet, these children end up being deprived of the much needed attention for their age and are generally left to their own devices and all these would eventually lead to learning deficits.

I grew up very much under the nose of my mummy and daddy and when we were just 2 children, before daddy got the promotions and life became too hectic, i still remember my dad checking my homework EVERY day without fail and packing my school bag with me and even checking off the contents of said school bag every evening to make sure i came back with all the items i left home with and nothing extra.

But these kids probably don't have that and there's only so much the teachers can do. They can only make them repeat for so long before they have to start pushing them into higher classes, because to be honest how long do you want to keep an 8yr old in kindergarten for?

So that's where my help is needed. Hopefully spending extra time on a more one on one basis with my kids will help them make some progress. Of course the reading software is totally useless to me.

We started with letters of the alphabet.

My kids don't know their A,B,C's well yet, so i have my work cut out for me.

I haven't had to be around kids for the longest, i haven't worked with any kids that are not family before, we all know how 'energetic' kids are. I pray i'll be able cope with the "drunk little people"

But like i said earlier, they are adorable, Kevontee already invited me to his house.

They are sweet, happy children and i hope i'll be some help to them.

After my session with them on Thursday, as i stood outside helping them put on their raincoats, i couldn't help wishing i were 7yrs old again. I'd most likely have the most colourful raincoat and i'd be eyeing the little girl with the nice wellies/rainboot because my mother never bought me any. I'd be looking foward to getting home and finishing my home-work so i could be in front of the TV by 4pm to watch as much ovide video, fraggle rock or sesame street before my mum got back from work.

*sigh* To be a child again. No responsibilities or decision making. Just playtime, love and laughter and the worst thing that could happen is mummy scolding you.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

In totally unrelated news:

So all of you didn't nominate me okwaya?

That's how it is now ehn?

Or is it because i didn't start spamming your emails with campaign propaganda ehn?

Oh oh.

I see how it is.

Infact i am very, very vexed with all of you.

And very jealous of all the nominees.

Mschhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

These Genes

2010-05-18T21:23:00.003-04:00

Today i saw a 50 year old sickle cell patient.

Well, she's not yet 50, she'll be 50 in 'the month after June'

I've never seen or heard of a 50yr old sickle cell patient before. I don't know any official statistics related to sickle cell related mortality, but most of us have heard that most 'sicklers' are expected to die before they are 21 and usually once they pass the age of 21, they are suddenly 'free' of the ailment.

WRONG.

I lost a family friend to sickle cell about 3yrs ago. She was 27.

Back to the lady i saw today.

Very interesting and friendly lady.

First thing you'd notice about her would be her VERY skinny stature. She looked like she couldn't weigh more than 40kg and i'm not exagerrating.

In keeping with the profile of sickle cell patients, she has chronic anaemia.

Normal heamoglobin levels range between 12-16mg/dl. 'Sicklers' are expected to have a Hb between 9-10mg/dl. She has a Hb of 4-5mg/dl.

As a result of numerous blood transfusions she recieved earlier in life, her body has produced various antibodies, so now she has transfusion reactions and therefore can't recieve blood. So if by any chance she is seen in an emergency condition by a doctor who is not aware of her peculiar situation and an attempt is made to tranfuse her, that could be the death of her.

And that is not all. She has several other complications which would be too technical for me to explain here.

She has a heart condition.

She develops ulcers which do not heal easily.

She has chronic jaundice.

She doesn't have a spleen anymore.

But still, she's alive. It's something to be thankful for.

I have two cousins who are 'SS'.

Two beautiful little girls.

Momo and Lakeside.

From the day they were born, the hospital has been like a second home to them.

Their mom stopped working because she couldn't keep excusing herself to take them for their several doctor visits.

Their dad left. He said he couldn't deal with it.

I've seen them in 'crisis'.

The crying is heart breaking. I don't want to imagine the kind of pain they must be in to howl like that. I almost can't stand to be around them when it starts.

I heard one of them almost died recently.

I thought about my babies a lot today.

#lightupnigeria

2010-04-28T18:03:00.003-04:00

Phew!

HIP, HIP, HIP.....HURRAY!!!!

I just spent 7 S-E-V-E-N hours without electricity and i nearly lost my mind.

I kid you not.

I had the shortest day in the history of short days at the hospital today, and i was happy to rush home, only for the power to go out by 10.30am.

I thought it was a joke, because my internet was still on, so i carried on, trying to ignore the heat whilst doing what i was doing online. But of course the battery of my laptop ran out eventually so i couldn't ignore the heat any longer. And today was especially hot, i felt like i was roasting.

I tried sleeping, but that didn't work.

I considered making something to eat, but no power = no microwave, but thankfully i had already started grilling fish in the oven earlier, so i ate that. Finished eating, still no light. Chai.

I made myself a drink, downed it and made another attempt to nap. I'd actually started making progress with the nap when one guy that has been pestering my life called, and suggested a trip to the beach, i quickly accepted and the monkey said he'd see me in HALF AN HOUR i.e 30mins.

I paused my nap, took a shower and changed.

My friend also called suggesting a trip to the beach but i'd already made a commitment, do you know this monkey made me wait and my silly friend went without me and still he didn't show up.

By this time i was literally about to tear my hair out. So i called a taxi to take me to the beach.

I've never appreciated the water like i did today. Me that i hardly ever change into a bathing suit or let the water get past my feet, i was sitting inside the water. Refreshing i tell ya.

Of course i couldnt stay there by myself forever,and my bb battery was dead so i was already getting antsy, so i decided to go to the gym......same story, no electricity and it's not like naija where everybody has generator. Here most offices and establishments do not have generators (they hardly ever need it) But it wasn't so bad, big windows provided enough air, after a while they restored power at the gym, i was happy. I finished my work out and set out for home, by this time it's already 5pm.......still no light, but at least the sun was lower in the sky, so i took my 4th shower for the day, located my emergency candle and matches and climbed into bed clad in my birthday suit. Ready for the worst.

As God would have it power was restored about 30mins later.

Praise da Lord with me.

All i kept thinking was, "shey this is normal life in Nigeria my country? How did i do it then? How do they do it now sef?"

But really, just 7hours without power and everything ground to a halt.

I remember a number of years ago when it was all over the news that there was a power outage in the US and how many deaths were reported, i laughed ehn! Like see these yeye people, so no light is what is killing them? yeyerity of the highest degree!

Look at me now.

People from other countries should have plenty of respect for us oh, they can't endure half of the ish Nigerians living in Nigeria have to go through.

I know Nigerians outside Nigeria that cite NEPA (or whatever name they choose to call it these days) as their main reason for refusing to move back home.

I honestly wish our government would make power/electricity generation and distribution a priority. It would be such a huge boost to the economy and would go a long way in improving quality of life of the average Nigerian. See now, the money my father spends on diesel for our 2 generators (big gen and small gen) in a month would be enough to buy me a car so i won't have to be trekking everywhere like a suffer head.

Please, biko, ejo, abeg #lightupnigeria

2010-04-22T18:14:00.003-04:00

Is it wierd to that i have been crying for the past hour over the death of someone i don't know personally or have never met before?

I have snot running from my nose, my eyes have refused to dry, i've finished almost one roll of tissue paper and i have littered my room with all the tissue, but i still haven't stopped crying. I probably look like a masquerade now...i should stop.

Me and death don't do well together. I cry almost every time i hear someone died, though today's episode is a little extended than usual.

I am around death quite often these days, still can't get used to it.

We've been having these discussions with my consultant almost everyday about death and its inevitability. He says that as doctors we need to accept death and learn how to handle it.

Yes i do realise it is inevitable, but each time i hear that a young person died, i can't help but think : "That could've been me, or my sister, or my brother, cousin or friend"

For a truth, borrowing kanye's lyrics, Nothing is ever promised tomorrow today. I am awake, alert, totally healthy and sitting in front of my computer typing this now, but there is no guarantee that by this time tomorrow, i will alive to do this again.

Today is really all we have. Make the best of today. That person you used to be friends with but now you just can't stand her stinking guts may go jogging tommorow and get hit by a truck and then it would be too late for you to make amends.

Life really is too short, too transient.

But Life is good. I am thankful for the gift of life, I was given life for a reason, I didn't merit it, I am not still here today because I am more righteous than those who have passed.

Live. Love.

I imagine that a life full of hate would be quite tiring. It must take a lot of thought to hate someone. And to what end really?

So pause. Take a minute. Is there someone you want to call? For no reason than to tell them you love and appreciate them. Do it. Your friend pissed you off, you swore never to say a word to said friend? You might want to rethink that.

Spend more time with your loved ones, tell them and show them how much they mean to you.

I want to call my mummy, just to hear her voice and hear her say she loves me, and i can tell her i love her too without that smirk i sometimes have, but she'd probably asleep and i dont want her worried.

Oh, i love you too. Everybody that reads this blog, but special love for those who leave comments :p (now u feel like you shoulda left that comment dontcha?)

I have made so many special friends via this blog. Thank you.

Another thing, i know different people react to things differently, but NOTHING justifies being straight insensitive and disrespectful about someones passing. NOTHING.

I have been shocked today. Maybe not shocked because frankly i know there are stupid people running wild on the interwebs, but still....

"More research should be put into the eradication of the stupidity gene. Too many stupid people"

So many things i could say on this matter, but i'll pass.

We will all live this world one day......sooner or later....what do you want to remembered for?

I know i rambled on in this post, but it truly did help. I'm not crying anymore.

I think i'll even turn on the lights now and plug in my speakers.

R.I.P Da Grin

R.I.P Terry

Tomfoolery

2010-04-16T00:06:00.003-04:00

I know ALL my tweeps have seen this video by now, but i know some people are just on a dulling p and not everyone is on twitter so i decided to share this here. And introduce you to Afrocandy.

So the first time i saw this lady (mind you i'm using the word lady very loosely here) was on Amebor.com. She performed at some event. She did look a mess and i couldn't watch her for very long. However i just discovered this video recently and each time it crosses my mind, i start laughing uncontrollably, so i just had to share with y'all.

Warning: Not Safe For Work.

Please don't say it is I who caused you to be fired.

This somebody is actually a mother of two. And on her channel, she painstakingly attacks anyone who leaves a negative comment. I even have reports saying one of her children sent an email to a commenter cussing her out. *pause*

At this point i am tempted to make like Sugabelly and say Ibo people perplex me, but it's just this one woman.

Whatever the case sha, Kedu ndi si ha nwere ego kedu ebe unu noo?????

P.S -i really should stop associating my blog with such foolishness, but....ah well...

Onwu

2010-04-07T21:28:00.003-04:00

After a long weekend, i resumed at the hospital yesterday to hear that Mr Baker had passed over the weekend.

We had first met Mr Baker 11weeks ago. We were introduced to him as a stubborn patient. You know one of those who would come into the hospital when he was critically ill and once he started getting better he'd refuse his medication, refuse tests and generally become what we call non-compliant. First time i saw him he was sitting up in bed, talking back at the doctor and demanding to be sent home. He had long standing diabetes and had already had an amputation. However he seemed unconcerned about controlling his condition because he would sneak sweets and snacks and not take his meds. We finally discharged him after about two weeks, only for us to come back one morning, and he was back on the ward. He had been found in a diabetic coma by his niece.

This time around he definitely looked worse for wear. He just looked weaker. And the stump of the amputated limb was infected. He would still refuse to let the phlebotomists take his blood, but he wasn't as canterkerous as before. His condition was controlled and he was discharged once again.

Of course you know he came back. He was readdmitted with an ulcer on the other limb and looked like he might be needing another amputation. Just looking at him, i knew he was very unwell. He could barely sit up any more even.

Truth be told, i wasn't too surprised when i heard yesterday that he had passed.

Being in the medical field, i guess one is expected to get used to death, i honestly doubt that i ever will. However, death is just another inevitable phase of life. It's like the end point. We will all get there. Each time i hear that someone lost a family member, different thoughts go through my head. Like:

"what if that was me?"

"Thank God for keeping all my family members alive and healthy"

"My life would be over if anything happened to mummy or daddy now"

I remember this traumatising incident, over a year ago. I still remember how palpable the grief was that day. It took the police to get his family out of the emergency room.

About two months later, i saw his mum and sister, all dressed up and out on the town.

Yes they had lost a son and brother recently, but guess what.....the show must go on.

Yes life indeed does go on.

The thing about life is.....it's for the living.

Another thing about life is...it's transient.

Here today gone the next.

Sometimes very suddenly.

Yes, depending on how one lived, there will be weeping and wailing, but life will NOT stop.

That's why it's important while we are here to live.

And live fully.

Life is too short to do otherwise.

It is a dis-service to oneself to waste time on things like hate and other things which prevent full living.

I was speaking with my dad 2days ago and he mentioned that our former landlord had passed.

I remember when we were younger, we reffered to him as "Upstairs Daddy" He was a very kind and considerate man, we lived in his house for over 10years, and we became like extended family. My uncle is now married to one of his daughters. I wasn't able to visit them last year while i was home. Now i wish i had. I'm not really sad though. He was a good man, he had touched many lives and done good by his family. He lived long enough to carry several of his grandchildren and now i know that he is definitely in a better place.

Everyday i thank God for the the life and health of my family and friends. I tell them how much i love them and do the little i can to show them too, because who knows when they'll be gone....iDon't, but i don't want them to go not knowing how much they mean to me.

I do know though that the loss of a loved one, no matter how dear won't stop the sun from shining the next day, or stop winter from passing to spring.

I'll leave you with this poem by A.E Housman that i studied in literature class back in Secondary school. The poem tickled me no end and stuck with me forever. It is like a letter from the grave, from a dead man to his living friend, starting with the dead man, they respond in alternating stanzas.

'Is my team ploughing,
That I was used to drive
And hear the harness jingle
When I was man alive?'

Ay, the horses trample,
The harness jingles now;
No change though you lie under
The land you used to plough.

'Is football playing
Along the river shore,
With lads to chase the leather,
Now I stand up no more?'

Ay, the ball is flying,
The lads play heart and soul;
The goal stands up, the keeper
Stands up to keep the goal.

'Is my girl happy,
That I thought hard to leave,
And has she tired of weeping
As she lies down at eve?'

Ay, she lies down lightly,
She lies not down to weep:
Your girl is well contented.
Be still, my lad, and sleep.

'Is my friend hearty,
Now I am thin and pine,
And has he found to sleep in
A better bed than mine?'

Yes, lad, I lie easy,
I lie as lads would choose;
I cheer a dead man's sweetheart,
Never ask me whose.

**Onwu- Igbo word for death.

According to ME

2010-04-04T21:50:00.003-04:00

I'm not a tv person, but it is my usual practice to leave the tv on for background noise. While i'm getting dressed in the morning, i usually have my tv on VH1 because they have Jump Start showing so at that time, so i just listen to the songs and go about my buisness.
Now i can't tell you when exactly i first heard this song, but it had become one of those songs i could hum along to, for example i knew the first verse.

According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right

According to you
I'm difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress
Can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you
According to you

So i was bobbing my head to this song one morning actually listening to the song this time, so when i heard the 2nd verse begin with a BUT, i expected to hear something else, but this is what i heard instead:

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny,irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

Now what is my problem with this you might ask.

It's simple really.

After detailing all the things that this one jerk didn't like about her, I expected this little lady to detail all the wonderful things about herself that were in direct contradiction to the jerks opinions, instead, little miss lady goes on to tell us what yet another male somebody thinks about her, although this other somebody is a more positive somebody.

Brief but related digression, i just saw this from our resident Twitter Reverend @RevRunWisdom : How you treat yourselves teaches others how to treat you.

There's also this Igbo proverb i remember my mother quoting that translates literally as : The name the owner of the dog calls the dog is what outsiders will call it. This one can be interpreted anyhow you wish.

Now from this song, i would assume that the the first guy (YOU) is an ex, who constantly put her down and now the second guy (HIM) is a new guy who sees only good things about her.

Now while it is a great thing to be with somebody who focuses on your positives, it is an even greater thing for you to have first identified all these wonderful things about yourself because though we are built for companionship , we first and foremost are created as individuals and if you're not capable of being happy on your own, it would be unfair and difficult, to join yourself to someone else with the expectation of finding happiness.

It is of utmost importance for every individual to have a sense of self worth and a good measure of self love. Without these two elements (amongst others) it is very easy for one to be lost. Simply put, when you do not know yourself and do not think of yourself as important or good enough, you tend to accept what other people think about you and that is definitely not an ingridient in the recipie for happiness.

Low self -esteem is a serious disease like condition, that is bound to show in every aspect of life.

We even see this in playground dynamics. The same kid who is a victim of bullying has a higher risk of suffering at the hands of bullies even after changing schools because these weak, cowardly people can sense the fear and insecurity and choose to feed off it to make themselves feel better.

Low self esteem is the reason why some people stay in destructive relationships that they really have no buiness being in because they do not think they are good enough to be happy with someone else.

Low self esteem is the reason some people fail at any and everything because they do not think they are good enough to make it at whatever, be it school, a new job or a new position, so they don't even fight for anything.

No one human being is perfect. I do admit that it is easy to think your own life does not measure up when compared to the life of the next person, but there's that saying, about life and hope, and another saying i saw on a friends status : "If you don't like where you are, do something to change it. You are not a tree" So if there's that thing in your life that's not the best, it's ok, because as long as you're alive, you can always strive to do better and be better. (This line is more for myself than anybody else right now)

There's so many things that come to mind when i hear this song, and i could go on forever, but my point is this, don't let anyone else write the lyrics to the song that is your life. Your song should always be ACCORDING TO ME.

The rest of the lyrics:
According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
You can't take me any place

According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
I'm the girl with the worst attention span
You're the boy who puts up with it
According to you
According to you

But according to him
I'm beautiful,incredible
He can't get me out of his head

According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
Oh, no
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me dizz-ay

According to me
you're stupid
you're useless
you can't do anything right

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head

According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you [you, you]
According to you [you, you]

According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right

Yesterday in surgery....

2010-04-02T17:27:00.002-04:00

....i saw an anal resection.

Don't be confused, it's 2 words.
Anal - Anus
Resection - Cut

So yea, basically i saw a mans sigmoid colon cut and the anal canal pulled out through his bottom, resected and his butthole was sewn shut.

Yes, no more butt hole.

He's only 62 years old, but was diagnosed with anal cancer. Somebody hinted that he was a homosexual (anal sex is a risk factor for anal cancer) Now this young man will never have the priviledge of taking a shit.
He will now live the rest of his life with a colostomy bag attached to his abdomen to collect whatever fecal material his body produces.

Do you still think you have it bad?
Do you think any and everything is that can go wrong is going wrong in your life now?

So next time you're sitting on the ceramic throne, bearing down and trying to force that bugger out, think of the man can NEVER do that again, and say a little prayer of thanks to God.

It's the little things.

Hope everyone had a good Good Friday.
To be completely honest i'm more excited about the long ass weekend and all the sleep i'll be getting, but we should all remember what Easter is about.
We get away with all the evil things we do everyday because God sent his son to die for us.

Don't forget to say thank you.

Happy Easter people.

Thanks for all the concern from the last post.

Testimony time

2010-03-28T15:29:00.002-04:00

Prrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaiiiizzzzzzzzzeeeeeee da Lord!
Wave your palm fronds in the air (if you'd gone to church today you'd know it's Palm Sunday)
Yes, Praise the Lord with me.

Story time.

As you well know, yesterday was a Saturday. I woke up quite early, walked to the market where i found goat head on sale by accident and happily bought one in anticipation of cooking soup later in the day. My other plans for the day included a hair appointment @ noon then grocery shopping then cooking and afterwards laze around in bed and possibly finish a novel i started about a month ago.

So i made my hair appointment in time, left the salon feeling all fly and what not, did my grocery shopping, called a taxi and hauled myself and my load home.
I got home and had just started putting stuff away in the cupboards, and i decided to also start cooking since i'd washed the meat earlier. So Mizchif lit the stove and continued doing other things. A friend dropped by on her way to a birthday get together which was going down at the beach and she asked if i was interested, I'd heard about this beach do earlier, but i didn't include it in my itinerary for the day as i wasn't sure when i'd be done with my hair.

Since i had no other plans, and i hadn't been to the beach in a while, i decided to join them. I changed into a tank top and shorts, grabbed my novel and my purse and sashayed into the car. As soon as i entered the car, i noticed i wasn't with my BB, so i dashed back in to get it and hopped back into the car. It was about 5pm by now.

So we're on our way, the girls are chit-chatting, i'm sitting in the back reading my book, you know just chilling and looking up from time to time to direct the driver (who clearly had no idea where we were going)

Took us almost an hour to get to our destination. So we get there, the water is looking beautiful, it's almost 6pm, so the weather is really cool, party was winding down but i actually preffered it that way cuz i'm really not one to socialize much.
So i say my hellos and hi's and settle down by the water to continue with my book.

Next thing, God, Jesus and Holy Spirit ( don't ask me how i know) whisper to me:
Okwa gi shinyere ihe n'oku?**
**Shey na you put sometin for fire?

Yes, i actually left that meat i spoke about earlier on the stove. And to think i remebered my BB only 2 seconds after getting into the car, but it took me a whole hour and a heavenly reminder for me to remember a potential life threatning situation.

At first i didn't want to believe i'd made such a mistake, but i clearly remebered turning on the stove but definitely couldn't remember turning it off.
First off, i don't have phone numbers for my naighbours (yes, i'm that anti-social)
So i decided to call my landlord, who lives about 20 mins away, and also the thought of calling him to tell him i was possibly about to burn down his house may not have been such a good idea, but he was my only option.

I quickly called him and summarized the situation and begged him to drive down to the house and check it out, but he said he didn't have the spare keys to my apartment (i know, i actually have them) but he agreed to go anyway though i had to keep calling him because i know how he likes to waste time.

He finally got to the house 40mins later and first thing i heard when he answered was coughing, fear catch me. He said he had to kick in the screen to open the door, fortunately i hadnt locked it with the key, so he was able to get in and turn off the stove. He said there was a lot of smoke, but there wasn't too much damage, so i was mildly relieved.

You don't want to imagine all the thoughts that were running through my mind as i was sitting there on the beach. There are wooden cupboards right above that stove which would have easily caught fire and if the Holy Trinity had not reminded me, i would have come home after frolicking on the beach to meet a fire truck outside my house, plus the cost of damages would have had me in tears for weeks.

I was quiet all through the beach do and the drive home, and when i eventually got home i was greatly relieved, though the house smelled like very badly burnt asun (roasted goat) I was a little sad that my precious goat meat was now charcoal, but i was VERY happy that there was minimal damage, I can't thank God enough.
I tidied up, but i couldn't help feeling very stupid and foolish sef, like did i really do that? And i also couldn't shake the 'What If' feeling. I'm usually quite meticulous so how did i this happen?

Anyway, i decided beating myself up over it wouldn't help so i took a shower and quietly crawled into bed as early as 9pm (of which even my sheets smelt smoky)
I had to leave the door open for a while (and suffered flies and such as a result)
I've sprayed Raid, sprayed glade, changed my sheets and now the smell is better.

Oh and i happened to have some meat in the freezer, so just finished cooking season 2 of that egusi i was craving. And a friend came over to see how i was doing and i also made oven BBQ ribs today. YUM.
So now i am happy.

It's Sunday night, tomorrow is Monday and i even have a new patient, but i'm happy.
I haven't done one line of studying yet, so i might have to study tonight (after watching Desperate Housewives of course) but still i am happy.

I hope y'all had a happy disaster-free weekend.

Here's to a Happy, disaster free week to everyone.

Cheers.

Do you love yourself?

2010-03-25T22:21:00.002-04:00

I'm lazy, i know, please bear with me.

Anyway, i just saw this and thot to share

Re My last post: I actually found Ms Eefy on Facebook and all i can say is WOW! And for those who think she's joking, ahn ahn, chic ain't playing, she is for real. And yes, she is a SHE, she just likes tranny make up. And she has a banging body as well, and she does some modelling, i wish i could be her agent and put her on some reality TV series, she would be the next Amber Rose. In fact, i am officially the head of the Eefy fan club. Only problem is i will still combust in giggles everytime she opens her mouth to speak.

Ok, i have to be off now, there's this little matter (studying) that needs to be taken care of.

Toodles.

Watch and discuss

2010-03-20T23:42:00.003-04:00

Thank God i remebered how to embed videos.

I was on my own jejely a few minutes ago when a friend shared a video with me, i went ahead to find the youtube channel.
Honestly first thought that came to my head was "There's a man in there"

Oh and i think (s)He is Nigerian, The name is actually Ify, just spelt Eefy.
Plus is it just me or is the accent hella funny?

DM

2010-03-16T20:39:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: This post may get really icky, so if you have queasy tendencies, you may choose to skip the 2nd half of the post.

For you twaddicts who may have rushed to read this thinking DM stands for Direct Message and you were about to read some juicy jist, sorry to disappoint you luvies.

Today DM here will be reffering to Diabetes Mellitus. That's right, i'm about to turn doctor on you guys.

I've been putting off doing a post on Diabetes for a while, but i was trying to avoid boring some people away, but i saw something which prompted me to write this post today.

Now i know Diabetes is a word we are familiar with for the most part. For most people the first thing that comes to mind when they hear the word Diabetes is 'Sugar' . And that's what it is basically.

Now there are many things i could tell you about diabetes as i have become very intimate with this topic over the past year or so, but i really want this to be as simple as possible.

Now some people are genetically predisposed to Diabetes, i.e the condition runs in the family. Some other people 'acquire' Diabetes as a result of unhealthy dietary habits and sedentary lifestyle simply put, some people become diabetic because they eat too much, do not excercise, become obese and their bodies just can't control the sugar levels anymore.

Mind you this is not me taking shots at fat people, i have my thoughts on obesity and that is a whole 'nother post on its own.

The thing about diabetes is that it is a life long condition, but with the right measures, it shouldn't be life threatning. Now this is where information and self love come in. Diabetes is mainly managed by dietary control and medical therapy (i.e insulin, metformin, etc.) So ideally in a person with diabetes who is aware of the condition, a dietician is usually consulted to advice them on wha foods they should generally avoid and in all honesty the foods that diabetics are adviced against are foods that are unhealthy in general, just that the body of a diabetic patient has less capacity to cope with sugar control.

The side effects and complications that could result from diabetes are too numerous to mention, but they include blindness, blood vessel damage, kidney problems, just to mention a few.

In these past few weeks, i have lost count of the number of amputations i have witnessed which were all secondary to diabetic neuropathy i.e as a result of the diabetes, these patients have reduced sensation, poor blood flow and bad micro organisms which thrive in the presence of sugar stay and cause infection and these infections take forever to heal and some never heal, so we first see a patient with a black toe and we take them to surgery to have the toe removed, keep the patient of the ward for a few days, discharge them, then they return a month later with a blackened foot. Of course now the foot has to be taken off. Then they return to have the whole leg removed.

All because they didn't control their blood sugar levels.

Now like i said i've lost count of all of the amputations i've seen (did i tell you i think amputations are cool?) I've also seen some pretty icky ugly leg ulcers in my time, however in this journey of medicine, there is always some new grossness to witness. Such grossness prompted this here post today.

Today i saw a penile ulcer.

Err.......for the queasy folks, now would be a good time to stop reading, plix do not say i didn't warn you :D

Yes, you read right, an ulcer of the penis.

We ( the other students and I) were intrigued when we saw debridement and biopsy of penis on the list of surgeries for today, we wondered and wondered what could have happened to a penis for it to require debridement, we certainly were not prepared for what we saw.

There was this shriveled uncircumcised penis, with a hole on one side (other than the normal hole God designed it with). As if that wasn't enough, the underside of said penis was peeled off, as in i kid you not. Then come to the scrotum, a.ka the 'balls' those guys were swollen men as in huge like, with their own unnatural holes too, oh and of course there was puss coming out. We were all cringing and ewwwwwwing.

As we were 'admiring' this highly cringe worthy sight, we kept quizzing each other on what could have caused such a disastrous strategically located ulcer and we couldn't wait to ask our consultant or to grab the patients chart.

Guess what caused it.....

Yup, DM, Diabetes Mellitus, coupled with poor hygine led to that penile ulcer on a 56yr old man.

So anybody can live with poor hygiene, sure they'll stink and what not, but they most likely won't have a rotting penis.

I am not sharing this story just to gross you out (ok maybe just a little) but i think it is really important for people to understand how dangerous diabetes can be if uncontrolled.

Now i may not have stated plenty of facts in this post, and i don't consider myself an authority on the subject, but please if you have any questions or anything is not so clear to you, google is your friend.

So people, please, biko, ejoo, abeg, if you know anyone who is diabetic, help them help themselves. If you think you might be diabetic, see a doctor and find out for sure and proceed accordingly.

During the surgery our consultant advised that girls shouldn't marry blindly i.e you might want to check his package before signing the dotted line ;-D

Ok, enough grossness for one blog post, though i honestly wish i could share the real extent of this grossness with you guys :D but i'll have to make do by trying to paint very vivid pictures vis words. If you don't like, go away.

P.S Ahn ahn, you sef, i was just joking, oya come back na, i'm sorry :D

I love my mummy

2010-03-14T13:35:00.003-04:00

So today is Mothering Sunday and even though i overslept and missed church and have been in bed all day, i'm just going to do this "I-Love-My-Mummy" post.

I love my mummy, but it hasn't always been that way.

You see when i was younger, i really did think my mum was a witch. Seriously.

My mummy did things that to my childish mind then were nothing short of winchious.

And i reacted accordingly. It didn't help that i was the apple, strawberry and croissant of my fathers eyes, so i just clung tightly to Daddys side.

I clearly remember back in the day, when we'd hear the horn of my mum's car, we'd start running helter skelter, straightening every thing in sight, hoping and praying that mummy wouldn't find something to scream about, however when we heard Daddys horn, there'd be a race to see who'd get to the car fastest and we (my sister and I) would almost jump into the car even before it was parked. Looking back now i can't imagine how my mum would have felt watching this scene repeatedly, minutes after her own very look warm welcome from work.

If for some reason the family had to travel in two cars, we'd rather ride with daddy, it's no wonder when my mum finally gave birth to the two boys, she proceeded to spoil them silly.

I had times when i wished i could trade my mum for some of my friends mothers, they just seemed so much more fun. Oh and don't give me any looks cuz my mum used to openly compare us to some of her friends kids.

In all this, i must say that my mum never slacked in providing for us. We weren't very well off, but my mum made sure that we didn't lack anything. And not just basic things, for example when my mates in primary school were still wearing them digital aboki watches and mickey mouse water bubble watches, i was wearing a sleek blue leather Raymond Weil watch and even till this day i love when i'm home cuz i know i can go to my mummys wardrobe and wear anything and everything, except for her shoes and clothes (sadly she wears a smaller shoe size)

Our family wasn't one of those where we'd travel abroad for summer or Christmas, but when my mates were wearing Moccassins and carrying Nike one-arm (monostrap) bags, i had mine as well.

With time and age and interacting with more people and being away from home, i have come to greatly appreciate my mummy. Even without realising it, just living with her, i absorbed so many wonderful qualities that help me everyday. I can't list the ways in which i appreciate her , but i really do.

While growing up, i'd always heard how much i look like my Dad, but lately my aunts can't stop going on about how much like my mum i am. I talk like her, and act like her in several ways oh and all my divalicious 'extra' ways.....i certainly got that from her.

Now you might think that my mum and i are now bestest friends and joined at the hip and alladat.....not quite really. We still have our very many differences, especially since she sometimes chooses to act like i'm 12yrs old when it suits her. And you can be sure that the sparks always fly one we spend more than 2wks under the same roof.

But the important thing is i have grown to realise that everything she did, she did for us. She may have had some crude methods, but she has always wanted the best for her children in every sphere of life and i pray and hope that she will live to see all of us succeed (tho we might not exactly tow the paths she dreams of)

I flashed (yes i flash my parents) her this morning to wish her happy mothers day, and she returned the call and started praying for me. I love my mummy.

Now i wish to one of the most beautifully approriate naija songs i've heard in a while to my dear mummy here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZx29_alU6c&feature=related

P.s: Blogger has refused to let me embed the video :(, but do click and enjoy

Have a wonderful week people :-*

Answer

2010-03-06T23:47:00.002-04:00

So re my last post, some people asked how the the objects got into the penis, so imma be nice and do a teaching.

I know a picture is worth a thousand words, but unfortunately there was no way i could've taken a picture of the patient, so i can not visually traumatize y'all, but i will try mentally.

So if you have a penis or if there is someone nearby who has one, you might want to grab it for a second.

Now you see that teeny little hole at the tip of the penis, the same one where urine comes out through, see it? Now just imagine picking up a nail (or whatever foreign body) and sticking it right in and possibly massaging the penis to enable the object travel further up.

Yea, so that's what the man did and that's how he got the foreign bodies into his penis.

Now, inside the penis, there is a tubular structure called the penile urethra which is what actually carries the urine to the outside of the body. Of course with the presence of these foreign bodies, this mans urethra got punctured, so the doctor had to insert a catheter to help him pass urine and allow the urethra to heal, but guess what........ during rounds yesterday, we saw that the man had pulled out the catheter.

Clearly this man has no regard for his penis and the Doctor had to give him a lecture on cherishing his manly treasures, if he has any intentions of making use of them in the future.

LOL!

Who is cringing?

Sorry, but i just had to share the picture with you guys mentally, it's all love.

Oh and you don't want to imagine the grossness i witness on a daily basis, but grossness is part of my life now, and i go home everyday and EAT! So yes, even if you were eating as you read this, ngwa continue eating.

Hope everyone's having a good weekend so far.

Ehen, please is there anyone who hasn't tuned into the cerastic show on blogtalk radio before>

What are you waiting for.

Best thing to do on a saturday morning (evening for some people) The chatroom is always full of crazy ass characters and Vera is always a lovely host and Funmi is always present to shout us down, oya what are you waiting for. Be sure to tune in next saturday, check Vera's blog for details.

Ms O, can i just tell you that you missed by being absent today. Please ask juicee or Tinuo to tell you about "Touch it!!!"

P.S Vera you have to pay me for plugging you like this oh.

So till i come back to gross you out with my hospital stories, have a productive week people.

:-*

Today in Surgery cc @Bumight

2010-03-02T17:11:00.004-04:00

Working in a hospital, as hectic as it may be, is also very interesting, sometimes.

Please forgive me if i forget myself and slip into medical jargon, but i will try my best to speak regular people speak.

So this morning on the ward, we had a 36yr old male patient, a prisoner who had come in yesterday with a chief complaint of difficulty passing urine. On examination he was found to have a massively engorged bladder and when questioned he stated that he hadn't passed urine for 3 weeks. I keed you not THREE weeks. The chief resident decided to insert a foley catheter (i.e a tube inserted into the urethra through the glans penis) to empty the bladder. However she was unable to insert the catheter as there seemed to be an obstruction in the urethra.

Please permit this section, specially for Bumight, others may choose to ignore it.

c.c : Dribbling/ inability to void

h.p.c : patient states that he has not passed urine normally for the past three weeks but has dripping from his penis.

O/E : Healthy looking young male in no obvious distress, breathing spontaneously on room air. Vitals stable. M.M: Pink and moist.

Chest: clear, lung sounds heard

Abdo: no scars seen, palpable bladder otherwise unremarkable.

No costovertebral angle tenderness/ flank pain.

PMH: Psychiatric illness

PSH: none

Meds: ??

Dipstick urinalysis and CBC ordered. Abdo X-ray ordered, results pending.

Differential Diagnosis:_____________

Impression:________________

Oya Bumight answer!

Now back to the story.

On further questioning, the patient stated that there was a nail in there.

Did i hear you ask "In where????"

Oya answer yourself.

Yes he meant he had a nail in his penis. Oh and a wire too.

Do i see you grabbing your crotch?

Patient stated that he was feeling stressed and had asked someone to help him insert said objects into his PENIS! yes PENIS.

Now seeing as this patient has a known history of psychiatric illness and their stories are known to change, it is not certain if he inserted these objects himself as some sort of sexual whatever or if someone did infact do this to him. But fact is he didn't seem troubled about the fact that there was a nail in there, he just stated it the same way one would tell you his name.

The X-ray results came back and with my own two eyezez, i saw a nail, not a straight nail oh, a bent nail, and a spiral coil and a spring type object and further up in his bladder there was another wire. I shit you not. This guy had about 4 objects that had been inserted through his penis. A suprapubic catheter was put in and it was draining bloody urine, as in imagine 3 weeks worth of urine, mixed with blood.

We had to take him to surgery and an incision (hole) was made on the posterior aspect of his penis. Ok lemme draw a picture for you. I'm assuming we've all seen a penis before right? So imagine holding the penis, the underside thats the side that touches the balls, ehen, that's where the whole was made. A whole lot of pus and blood gushed out. Then one of the objects was removed through the urethra, next after rooting around in the penis, the bent nail was found and removed as well.

You should've seen the guys in my group grapping their crotches, me sef i closed my legs a little tighter. It was all very cringe worthy. The thought alone is cringe worthy, so you can imagine seeing it yourself.

I have so many hospital stories to tell, but i just got home and i'm needing my beauty sleep, so i can wake up to study for rounds tomorrow and my quiz on friday.

See i'm a good girl i've updated twice in four days. Oya clap for me.